Sometimes, I think, whatever I am doing now, am I going in the correct direction?
I don’t wish to waste years again. I don’t have that much years to waste.
But, whatever I am doing now, the feedback varies. It feels… strange. Cold sometimes. Warm at times. Neutral maybe.
I think, how do I end up this way, again? Did I do something really wrong in my past life, that I have to undergo some form of retribution in my current life?
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I enjoyed too much last time. LOL.
Whatever.
Wow! It’s 2010!
First post of the year has to be slightly more interesting….
Woke up damn early today! 8am! I actually slept at around 2.30am. I am still stuck to the usual 6-hours-of-sleep-a-day routine. But then, I cannot sleep longer too. I had got a tennis session to go for.
And so, that was the first tennis session for the year! 10am. I played till 12.30pm. Damn hot today! Played 2 fast first-to-3-points games. Really fast ones. LOL. Won 1. Lost 1. Oh well.
After that, I took my first shower for the year at the SRC. I felt like I owned the whole bathroom! There’s no one there (oh man… at least, I did not see anyone there). The water’s so cooling. I thought of just stone there, in front of the shower, and fell asleep or something like that.
Zzz…
Walked over to YIH, and did my first ATM withdrawal for the year! Cool (maybe). Saw that the student lounge’s under upgrading/renovation. NUS is always upgrading. That time, they upgraded the toilet signs…
After that, took my first taxi ride for the year! The taxi driver claimed that he was an ex-STK employee, working at Portsdown Road. Then he started to talk about the company, Temasek, and CEO, what happened or what did not happen, rumours, and the history of the cab company that he was in.
Did ST really started off with a taxi fleet? Hmmm… LOL.
I was trying to recover some of my energy, and I ended up listening to stories… He even told me that his son’s learning tennis too. LOL…
Anyway, I went back to AMK to get some stuffs out of office. Required stuffs. Got in with the pass. Gone up to level 4. I scanned my card, and was actually trying to enter the pin number! Oh man. It did feel like it was night time up there. LOL. After around 2 seconds of WTD feeling, then I realised, oh well, it’s 1.20pm! And it’s Friday! Of course there’s no need to enter the pin!
Damn…
And then, I went into the office. Walked around. Nothing much. Saw some goodies on the table. Took some (eh, I haven’t eat leh!!!). Packed up a laptop. Packed up a serial analyzer. Called up someone who was napping away. And got out of office like a soldier going to chiong sua.
Just to update: I have got a bagpack, with 1 tennis racket, 1 can of tennis balls, 1 tennis cap, 2 new engineer caps, shower foam and shampoo, clothes, water bottle. And I carried the laptop, and the serial analyzer.
Felt kind of heavy.
But anyway, took another cab to TBP.
Bought things here and there. Actually, not much. I went into Comics Connection, and saw this little Naruto keychain with my surname on it. LOL. Actually my surname’s meaning’s red. So… the keychain has the word ‘朱’ on it. Kind of cool, but no, not buying. LOL…
First lunch for the year! Went to Rajah Inn for hotpot. Not bad wor… just that, it’s full of veggies. LOL. The chicken soup tasted like it is made from chicken stock cubes. The herbal one tasted better somehow.
After that, jalan jalan around, stoned around, floated around, and then had a small “tea break” at BK, with bubble tea from next-door. Waahahaa… Actually I bought nothing much… someone else did. LOL.
After that, home lor. Watched MJ concert on channel 5. And then fell asleep while watching LOTR… Well well.
Ok, up till this point, I don’t think the above is very interesting to readers. LOL.
Arrr… I better stop for today.
Ok, it’s finally time for a quick recap of what happened in 2009.
I did not remember much about what happened in the earlier months. It passed too quickly I think. From what I can remember, I was initially supposed to be attached somewhere, and then, the attachment went to some other person, and I was to take over from that person, to go for an attachment in the US.
But, things change.
I still did not know exactly how I ended up becoming a software engineer when I am actually more towards control-based electrical engineering background. Yes, I know I am quite proficient in programming due to my endless encounters with web-based scripting and codes over the past 8 years, and also .Net based programming for my FYP, but these do not actually equate to a career path in programming.
Whatever.
And so, I did programming, with about 5% programming background, and 90% of trial-and-error programming, and the remaining, luck. Due to that, I have gone through endless writing, re-writing, and re-writing of existing codes, which is a waste of time. Of course, the good thing is that, I get to learn what is good and what is bad for programming.
Learning the hard way. The painful way.
Well, yesterday, as I was clearing up my bookshelf, I found the resume that I have submitted for my current job. I said, “interested in hands-on engineering”. I supposed, what I am doing down, is quite hands-on, to a certain extent.
Oh well.
And then, the bombs kept on coming. The arrows kept on flying. I did more than just programming. I found myself doing hardware cabling and testing. I found myself doing another office renovation project. I found myself doing lots of paperwork.
I did them all.
Even though I am a software engineer, I still cannot put down the hardware. Software, is my part-time. It’s just that, it’s currently taking up most of my time. One will always need the hardware, in order for software to work. One can’t just concentrate on the software part, and forget about the hardware.
Simply, I hate to do things without the big picture.
And so, I ended up knowing how things are connected to each other. I ended up knowing what causes things to not work. I ended up knowing how to trouble-shoot certain things.
All except 1 thing, which I am completely kept out of: the main thing.
Which is a sad thing actually.
So be it.
They don’t think that having been working in a workshop environment, doing maintenance on vehicles, and having that slight background in engines will be beneficial, so be it.
But then again, I don’t have 10 hands. I can’t learn here and there, and end up doing nothing, can I?
A good thing that happened, was that I got to travel overseas for work. I ended up in Honolulu. I spent extra time in Narita. I spent an extra day in Honolulu. I got to travel on business class. All the above, due to inability to get air tickets.
Talking about luck.
And working overseas was fun, yet tiring. The tiring part was actually the daily report, as requested by boss. The shopping part was tiring too. And I saw my money floating away everyday.
But overall, it was fun I guess. The only thing was that, I never really go find out what’s fun there. I had 1 extra day. Yet, I did not go find out. There’s quite a lot of things to do in Honolulu actually.
I don’t think there will be another free chance to go there.
Anyway, I actually did programming there too. I wanted to help in hardware, but as I said earlier, I do not have 10 hands. I had to do what I was supposed to do.
Which was another sad thing, as I did not really managed to understand the hardware part, again.
And now, I am still working on programming. Even at home. I am still trying to find methods to do things better. I am still learning.
Sometimes, I am really sick of programming.
But sometimes, when I get things to work finally, it’s actually quite fun.
Irony.
And so, that’s all for work. Friendship-wise, I have failed much. I felt that friends are drifting further and further away from me. As friends get attached, married, have children, it feels like, the world is so lonely.
Why am I still alone?
But, why am I allowing friends to drift away from me in the first place? I want to meet friends, but as always, they have their work, and they have their priorities.
So do I.
I can’t be putting them as priority all the time. They don’t really put me in priority too.
I still have a few friends that I will always keep in touch. My unit friends, and some of my secondary school friends. I am not that close with JC friends, but we still meet up once in a while. Uni friends, a few maybe. A few are just too busy to meet up.
I tried, and I have given them up. Trying to find them for a meal, that is.
My unit friends have 1 thing in common: eat. That’s what kept us in touch, I think. We went to the west, to the eat, to the south, and to the north, just for good food. We went to JB, ate the duck rice, the seafood, the cakes, and all the goodies.
So fun.
Relationship-wise, I think I do not have much luck in this. Woman I like, don’t like me. Woman I don’t like, also don’t like me. And so, I have been so quietly single for 2009.
When will that change?
Yes, nothing happened during this year’s Christmas. Absolutely nothing. I was at home, staring at TV screens, reading pages and pages in story books, and listening to countless songs.
Sometimes, I think I know what I want. But sometimes, I think twice. I hesitate. I retreat. And sometimes I will get very upset, and very disappointed with myself.
Why, why, why?
Ok, I think I have almost wrapped up 2009. Working has been great so far. Colleagues and friends have been nice so far. Experiences have been beneficial so far.
And so, what’s up for 2010?
I wish to cut down my weight. I think I have already cut down a bit.
I wish to have good relationships with all.
I wish to have an exciting year.
I wish to keep in touch with friends.
I wish to have good health.
I wish to spend less, and save more.
I wish to be more calm, and be contented with what I have, or have not.
I wish to find The One.
8 wishes.
Yeah.
No… not yet.
Tomorrow then I write. LOL…
Anyway, today was quite a sianz day. Went to play tennis with Huahui. On the way there, I was on the phone, right from the point I stepped out of my door. 3 different people. 3 different subjects. LOL…
KNS… talk about multi-tasking. I was walking to the AYE bus stop… had to concentrate on walking, and the topic on the phone, my racket on my left hand, the traffic, and the traffic lights.
Nahh.. I like to know more mah. I don’t like to hide in a corner and just concentrate on what I am supposed to do. There’s no fixed way to do things. There’s also no way people are going to fault you for doing more.
Simply, it does not hurt much to know more.
As for my ‘part-time’ software writing, I am always undergoing changes with my codes. Heh. Being me, I often like to try new implementations here and there. New implementations that feel more correct. Currently, I am still working on a minor change.. Hmm..
I can’t just stick to requirements. Requirements were thought by people who, at that point in time, thought that those were the basic things required. As time goes by, requirements are changed to fit the demands.
So are the codings.
Innovation.
Ok, enough of work.
Let’s talk about something else – housework. Damn.. it’s still work. LOL.
I was cleaning my bookshelf, and I saw a piece of paper that said “MY GOALS”. It took me a while to realize that MY is not her.
MY = my = me… Duhz…
Wahlaoooo… how lame can I get?
Ok, MY GOALS… I am not telling here. Wahaha.. it’s a 5-year goal-plan. I think I will have difficulty fulfilling the money part. But who knows. I may HUAT soon. LOL.
HUAT doesn’t mean 4D, Toto, SG Sweep, or such ok, even though, that may be possible. LOL.
Ok, finished cleaning my bookshelf. Gonna clear up the table next. I mean tomorrow.
And, I think my SAJC bears and the bear that I got during primary school got to have a bath. I need to wash the uniforms too. Wahaha wahlaooo how many years have they not bathe… ew…
And I have not book-drop the 2 books. Oh man.
And I have not tried the face mask from that gift exchange. Oh man.
And I have not rest enough! Shit.
Ok ok, I think I shall stop. *Yawns* Good night.
Well well, someone ps-ed me today, and so, I ended up rotting at home in the morning.
After that, went out in the late morning for a swim. Had a pancake and soybean drink after that, before going for Sakae buffet at 3pm. And then, hopped onto 61, and ended up at Queensway to buy some tennis balls. After that, hopped onto 198, and ended up at Jurong West for a haircut. Everything done at around 6.45pm. And then, back home lor.
Well well… So sianz…
I hope I did not manage to piss someone off….
If I did, I was unintentional.
Sorrryyyyyyyy…
=(
Heh heh heh…
Finally, the last item’s in! YAY…
Now, have to wait till next year, to get the stuffs. Hmm..
Wait lor…
The “am I seeing/chasing/wooing anyone” question will pop up once in a blue moon.
My answer is standard. NO.
But inside my head, how I wish I can say YES.
Really…
I need RO to recommend, and AO to approve. LOL… crapp…
There’s this song that goes “She’s always on my mind… from the time I wake up, till I close my eyes…” (Just concentrate on these 2 lines, and forget the rest).
Yeah… maybe that’s what I feel?
Maybe?
…………………………………………….
I just think… how come I can “lie” that naturally… OK la.. not say “lie”… just a form of refusal to acknowledge…
But I cannot anyhow mah… aiyo…
Oh man… we managed to 骗 one free dinner from boss!
We had dinner at Crystal Jade Kitchen, at TM!
Had this black pepper stir-fried udon. Minyan had beef noodles, Mingpo had prawn ball noodles. Yinghao had roast duck noodles. Boss had fried rice.
Well well… not bad.. the food. Just that there’s no more å°ç¬¼åŒ……
Talk cock there… till almost 10. Reached home around 11. ooOoo…
And then… LEAVE STARTS…
Ok, time for a one-shot recap.
24-Dec-2009
We gave the Christmas party a miss.
Got quite duhz when a call came in at 1pm, when we had just set up everything, and were starting to do real things. The instruction was: “do 1 round, pack up, and go party”.
SIAO.
Imagine, you wait there, for the rain the stop. The rain finally stopped. You set up everything. All’s ready to go. And someone said, go and do 1 round. WTF.
Of course we stayed on!
We finally got out of YC at around 4pm. I think.
Had an early dinner with MP.At Shin Tokyo/ Ramen Ten.
Abalone Hotpot!
Seafood Hotpot!
Er.. nice flame…
After that, went home, and rot the whole xmas eve away.
…………………………………………………….
25-Dec-2009
Finished reading Timeline. Nice story. Watched the movie. Super disappointing and a waste of my time. It’s impossible to squeeze a 400-page book into a 2 hour show. Therefore, alot of things got skipped, modified, cut short.
So… books are still the best. LOL.
Rot the whole xmas away.
26-Dec-2009
Played tennis with Hua Hui in the morning, at 10am. What a hot day.
Went to Raffles City for a uni gathering.
I was early, and so, I took a walk around Suntec…
We had lunch at Sushi Tei! LOL… (not everyone’s in this picture…)
And then, I went off, and they went to play pool or bowling or whatever, I did not know. Heh.
Met MP at Westmall. He wanna try contact lenses!
I was looking at the many many frames…
Hmm… expensive wor… LOL…
He finally got the contact lens in! LOL… *yawns*
And then, I went to look for my specs. Fast fast. Wahaha..
And then, we had dinner at Sakae Sushi.
Strange wor, but I did not take any pics for that…
After dinner, went over to MP’s block, to play some UKULELE!! Eh… quite easy leh… hahaha…
And then, went home. 10pm.
And then, met Eddy, at 11pm. We went for supper!
The 2 other guys, were MIA in their own worlds somewhere…
Anyway, first stop was Katong. Had Bak Kut Teh and such…
And then, next was Dim Sum at Geylang.
Ahh.. blurred pic…
Wahaha.. the rest of the food had not arrive yet. Bought the prawn chang fen home too.
And then, we ended up at Mustafa. Jalan jalan around…
And then, bought mee sua kueh at rui chun…
And then, home. 3am.
27-Dec-2009
Woke up at 9am. Zzz. Rot the whole day away.
As usual.
Fell asleep a few times (normal).
Tried to learn a new song on the guitar, so that I can use it to go melt some hearts (which is so impossible.. LOL)
Attempted to watch some drama (sianz).
Thinking of some problems (even more sianz).
Looking at how problems create more problems (ultimate sianz).
Ok. Simply. SIANZ.
