It’s been a while since I updated stuffs here. It’s the first day of 2014, so I am thinking of writing something.
2013 has been quite a fast year for me. I have been moved up the ranks, and currently sits on a position that I am still not very comfortable in.
As I informed my boss when he broke the news to me, I do not have a big head, so don’t give me such a big hat to wear.
My comments went on deaf ears. I am still being pushed into the position. After almost 1 year, I am still not very comfortable in that seat.
Many moments, I have thought of giving up, as this is not the path I have wanted. I am an implementer, not a commander. I am better at doing things than telling people what to do. I do not have sufficient experience to tell people what to do yet.
And I hate to mislead people. I hate to bring people in a circle, only to realise that my previous decision was a bad one.
Going in circles, who likes it?
However, I think I am going to give myself another chance to try. To lead, to guide, and to mentor.
It’s difficult, I know. But, I don’t have much choice, do I?
My passion is still in programming, in web-based applications, in finding alternative solutions to problems.
Holding this position has placed my passion in the back seat. I lost my passion for my job.
I used to go out and play. Now, I go to work.
And that’s sad.
2013 has also been quite unfruitful, in terms of work. I realised that we were like in a washing machine, jumbled up together, without a very clear direction.
We need someone to point us in the correct direction. But, I am not ready for that role. And, I don’t see anyone that is able to do that yet. Yes, I believe I have a strong team. I need a strong leader. And that leader, is not me.
2013 has also been unhealthy. I have gone to drink with friends and colleagues more often. More late nights. Lots of beers and liquors. Less time on weekends.
It’s very bad.
The last quarter of 2013 has also been an interesting one. I found The One. You will not believe how we met. We talked via whatsapp. We went out for dinner. We went on long trips. We have even gone overseas.
It’s great to love, and to be loved.
2014, what is going to happen?
Work-wise, I hope it will be smooth.
Love-wise, I hope it will be great.
And, to set some resolutions for 2014…
Love my body
Yes, I am heavy! I want to just cut down on weight, and maintain my size-L shirt sizing, for now. How? Eat healthy, and drink less alcohol!
Love my close people
I love my gf! Starting a relationship is relatively easier than maintaining a relationship. How to make a relationship last? This is a question that I need to learn. Or rather, WE need to learn. It’s not easy too, but I believe that we will be able to do it!
I love my parents! Without them, I will not be who I am now. So, I must take good care of them!
I love my friends! Without them, I will not have the support that I require now and then. So, I must keep in touch often!
Love my job
In order to deliver the project, I need to love my job, and somehow, make the others love it as well. I cannot be the only one chionging and chionging.
We need to chiong together!
So how? I need to set some clear directions, most probably. Before that, I myself will need to be clear first. And this is also not easy.
Love my life
For 2014, I hope I will be able to optimize my time, spend quality time at work and at play, and enjoy life.
For 2014, I hope I can spend more time for doing what I love during non-working hours.
For 2014, I hope I can still be myself.
Alright, that will be enough, for now? LOL. It’s been some time since I wrote such a long post eh? I wondered who will read this, but nevertheless, Happy 2014, everyone! May 2014 be a lovely year!