Ok, it’s finally time for a quick recap of what happened in 2009.
I did not remember much about what happened in the earlier months. It passed too quickly I think. From what I can remember, I was initially supposed to be attached somewhere, and then, the attachment went to some other person, and I was to take over from that person, to go for an attachment in the US.
But, things change.
I still did not know exactly how I ended up becoming a software engineer when I am actually more towards control-based electrical engineering background. Yes, I know I am quite proficient in programming due to my endless encounters with web-based scripting and codes over the past 8 years, and also .Net based programming for my FYP, but these do not actually equate to a career path in programming.
Whatever.
And so, I did programming, with about 5% programming background, and 90% of trial-and-error programming, and the remaining, luck. Due to that, I have gone through endless writing, re-writing, and re-writing of existing codes, which is a waste of time. Of course, the good thing is that, I get to learn what is good and what is bad for programming.
Learning the hard way. The painful way.
Well, yesterday, as I was clearing up my bookshelf, I found the resume that I have submitted for my current job. I said, “interested in hands-on engineering”. I supposed, what I am doing down, is quite hands-on, to a certain extent.
Oh well.
And then, the bombs kept on coming. The arrows kept on flying. I did more than just programming. I found myself doing hardware cabling and testing. I found myself doing another office renovation project. I found myself doing lots of paperwork.
I did them all.
Even though I am a software engineer, I still cannot put down the hardware. Software, is my part-time. It’s just that, it’s currently taking up most of my time. One will always need the hardware, in order for software to work. One can’t just concentrate on the software part, and forget about the hardware.
Simply, I hate to do things without the big picture.
And so, I ended up knowing how things are connected to each other. I ended up knowing what causes things to not work. I ended up knowing how to trouble-shoot certain things.
All except 1 thing, which I am completely kept out of: the main thing.
Which is a sad thing actually.
So be it.
They don’t think that having been working in a workshop environment, doing maintenance on vehicles, and having that slight background in engines will be beneficial, so be it.
But then again, I don’t have 10 hands. I can’t learn here and there, and end up doing nothing, can I?
A good thing that happened, was that I got to travel overseas for work. I ended up in Honolulu. I spent extra time in Narita. I spent an extra day in Honolulu. I got to travel on business class. All the above, due to inability to get air tickets.
Talking about luck.
And working overseas was fun, yet tiring. The tiring part was actually the daily report, as requested by boss. The shopping part was tiring too. And I saw my money floating away everyday.
But overall, it was fun I guess. The only thing was that, I never really go find out what’s fun there. I had 1 extra day. Yet, I did not go find out. There’s quite a lot of things to do in Honolulu actually.
I don’t think there will be another free chance to go there.
Anyway, I actually did programming there too. I wanted to help in hardware, but as I said earlier, I do not have 10 hands. I had to do what I was supposed to do.
Which was another sad thing, as I did not really managed to understand the hardware part, again.
And now, I am still working on programming. Even at home. I am still trying to find methods to do things better. I am still learning.
Sometimes, I am really sick of programming.
But sometimes, when I get things to work finally, it’s actually quite fun.
Irony.
And so, that’s all for work. Friendship-wise, I have failed much. I felt that friends are drifting further and further away from me. As friends get attached, married, have children, it feels like, the world is so lonely.
Why am I still alone?
But, why am I allowing friends to drift away from me in the first place? I want to meet friends, but as always, they have their work, and they have their priorities.
So do I.
I can’t be putting them as priority all the time. They don’t really put me in priority too.
I still have a few friends that I will always keep in touch. My unit friends, and some of my secondary school friends. I am not that close with JC friends, but we still meet up once in a while. Uni friends, a few maybe. A few are just too busy to meet up.
I tried, and I have given them up. Trying to find them for a meal, that is.
My unit friends have 1 thing in common: eat. That’s what kept us in touch, I think. We went to the west, to the eat, to the south, and to the north, just for good food. We went to JB, ate the duck rice, the seafood, the cakes, and all the goodies.
So fun.
Relationship-wise, I think I do not have much luck in this. Woman I like, don’t like me. Woman I don’t like, also don’t like me. And so, I have been so quietly single for 2009.
When will that change?
Yes, nothing happened during this year’s Christmas. Absolutely nothing. I was at home, staring at TV screens, reading pages and pages in story books, and listening to countless songs.
Sometimes, I think I know what I want. But sometimes, I think twice. I hesitate. I retreat. And sometimes I will get very upset, and very disappointed with myself.
Why, why, why?
Ok, I think I have almost wrapped up 2009. Working has been great so far. Colleagues and friends have been nice so far. Experiences have been beneficial so far.
And so, what’s up for 2010?
I wish to cut down my weight. I think I have already cut down a bit.
I wish to have good relationships with all.
I wish to have an exciting year.
I wish to keep in touch with friends.
I wish to have good health.
I wish to spend less, and save more.
I wish to be more calm, and be contented with what I have, or have not.
I wish to find The One.
8 wishes.
Yeah.