Why am I feeling that, there is something that I ought to know, and yet, I am not being told?
Do I have to find things out myself? No. I don’t like to find things out myself. I like people to tell me. Finding out myself is not going to be a pleasant thing.
I am not a hacker. I don’t like to guess things. Be it passwords, secrets, gossips, outcomes. But I like to know things. Sometimes, this wanting to know things can land me in deep trouble with myself, as I struggle between my inner feelings and what I should really do. This is the price to pay, for being too KPO.
But, I can handle it. Still.
But, for how long can I still handle? Limits are near. If I cannot ‘upgrade’ to the next level, I will be somehow, trapped by myself.
I am not a competitor. I don’t like challenges. Be it games, matches, skills, knowledge. I don’t see wins and losses as a marker of success. Wins and losses have their own lessons to learn. I don’t like to fight. I try to maintain a balance. This wanting to balance things sometimes can cause me to sacrifice myself.
But, I can handle it. Still.
But really, how long can I keep on sacrificing? I cannot be sacrificing my time forever. I cannot be sacrificing my feelings every time. I cannot be sacrificing my principles all the time.
I need to be at peace with myself. When I am at peace with myself, only then, I can see things more clearly, and accept more things openly.
Lk is limited. Lk needs to cut off from the world, and rest. But, there’s only 1 way to do that, and Lk does not want to go to that state too early. Lk still has a long long way to go. Lk has to go on.
A new week. A new outlook. And hopefully, a better Lk. åšå¥½äº‹, 说好è¯, å˜å¥½å¿ƒ.