Dumb dumb dumb me!
Huh! Why am I staring at the screen??!!
Been repeating 依然是朋友 over and over again. I just love the chorus part.
Ok, breathe in, out…
Sometimes, I based my tasks too much on my preferences. Sometimes, there are 2 things awaiting to be done, and opportunity costs are involved. While waiting for some confirmation from one side, I have to put the other side on hold also. In the end, the one side I am waiting will suddenly back out or black out, and so will the other side after much waiting. In the end, what will I be doing? NOTHING.
I mean it. NOTHING.
Like just now. Like now. Like last time. Like everytime.
I tried my best to put myself everywhere already… I looked at all angles. The results are all the same. Same verdict: Nothing will happen if I just keep quiet. Why bother when people are all busy with something else, when people are not interested, when people are just trying to avoid contact with you?
Why hurt myself time and again over such things?
If there's only 1 such case tonight, I will still be able to take it. But no, not 2. That only makes me feel like a super 白痴.
Felt like playing junk music on the keyboard now, but that will only hurt my ear drums…
Continue to hurt myself? Am I mad?
What rubbish…
Poseidon outing(s)? Don't know. A visit to Fujitsu Care Centre? Don't know. Swim? Don't know. What I can say is, motivation is inversely proportionate to changes. For example, high motivation gives low chances of changes, or high level of compromise.
Listening to 依然是朋友 for the dunno-what-th time, paying close attention to the chorus lyrics.
So, song writing. That song has written it. So, what else can be written?
No 灵感 already… And tunes. I have been stuck to a tune for a very long time. Why like that? I need 灵感.
迟到的雨 就让它冲去 所有的点点滴滴
迟到的雨 就让它慢慢调谐我的心理
Alright, a fool will go swim tomorrow morning. See? Fools can also make decisions…
Crap. Huh!