Maybe I should just go back to Square 1, where I set out to correct last year. For me, Square 1 means being quiet, hide in a lonely corner, doing my own things, never caring what others think. But can I? I have worked hard to get out of that hole. And yes, it's easy to fall back in.
Being in the RSAF has definitely opened my connections. Previously (in schools), I tend not to speak up unless called upon. Now, I speak to my superiors where necessary, and sometimes even joke along with them! I have also made many friends along the way. Some ORD, some posted out. We still keep in touch however.
Completed my FFI today. Everything's alright. I got Dr. Eugene's referral letter to NUH for my skin. The appointment's next Friday. Let's see what the specialist (yeah should be a dermatologist) will say…
Some things just managed to break my heart today. I think it's stupid that this kind of thing can actually bring me near to tears… But then, I don't have any reason to cry. No. That is not a good reason. I am quite used to that actually. It hurts for sure, but I can't do much. It's beyond me. Beyond what I can correct. Beyond my limits…
Let them go… Let them look for better pastures… Grant them their freedom… They have the right to make a choice during these times, to look for something more reliable…
Yeah I admit. I get upsad quite easily. I am easily moved. I get angry easily too. But I try to limit myself. Control my emotions. Think of other things. Smile. Close my eyes. Sleep.
I guess, this wound's going to take a real long time to heal. It's a deep cut… It's still bleeding… It hurts…
Ouch…