Belief@HazelCafe

This is the new look for ChaoSBluE. A blue sky, with white clouds. I like the colours.

Keep it simple. That's my goal.

I will do more changes as time goes by.

Currently working on ChaosLabs. This will be the new layout. I will still keep ChaosLight, however. At least for the time being.

Yes, I did miss out on some incidents this week. Just after my driving lesson on Monday night, I had to accompany one guy to Ngee Soon Camp. It's the same person again, with the same problem. I wonder what's really wrong with him. Later during the week, his heart report was out. His heart was OK. Think he might be having some psychological problems…

No, I am not in this field. I am just speculating. Do not take my words.

Attempted to write lyrics again this morning, in the quiet surroundings of the workshop rest room. The rest had gone to play soccer (or rather, only 2 went, the rest went back to their bunks). I just put down my thoughts on paper. Mostly about memories and relationships and feelings and leaving and expectations, etc…

Just my thoughts, no one else's.

And I guess this coming holiday, I might book in on 24th. I have guard duty on Christmas Day. Why? Because there's no one around, no one needs my company, no one requires me to stay out on Christmas Eve, or should I say, no one to spend the night with.

It would, most probably be, another lonely Christmas for me…

Having some problems with myself today…

Happy, that I have lost some weight. Happy whenever a joke was cracked. Happy when I scored in the basketball game. Happy when I had finished the week's work.

But these are all momentary happiness. I just feel that my mind is blocked by something. Something that is not too important now, yet cannot be ignored completely.

I feel like a swallow that has just lost its sense of direction…

Is it something that I wanted to say, yet hesitate? Or is it something that's leaving me for quite some time? Or perhaps it's just something that I have forgotten to do? I do not know exactly which…

My mind's blank. I don't seem to find the answer…

Yes, not everyone will remember until something's gone… I guess I will know soon…

Bye…

Going back soon… gonna rain soon also…

It's gonna be another week in camp. This time is a bit special. I don't have any books with me! Think I have to find something better to do, like, maybe, playing the guitar more often?

Activity Forcast? Perhaps we will be going to Sentosa (again) this Saturday… who knows, see first…

Nothing much to say… have to go…

Long time. For a long long time, since I last have this night cat feeling. It's like doing guard duty, but now I am at home, in the comfort of my room, listening to songs, talking to friends, editing webpages…

Went to JP in the afternoon. I bought a new badminton racket. It's a Yonex Titanium.. I forgot the number! 😛

Bought 2 VCDs: Home Run and Turn Left,Turn Right, from TS. Home Run's a touching show. Nice young actress. No wonder she won that newcomer award, she could cry anytime, like a tap? hmm… Haven't watch the other movie though. Maybe later? Bought some stuff from the D.I.Y. shop too~

Got a whole lot of things to do later, from finishing up my project, both calendar and chaoslight, to cleaning up my room (no, not my closet…). Have to go back to camp early, because I will be having my driving lesson at 8pm.

Alright, keep myself busy! = ) that will keep me warm, hopefully…

OK, my project for this year's Christmas is completed and ready for shipment.

Well, it looks alright to me, but it might not for another person. Hopefully, the person will look at the project the way I looked. = )

Anyway, today's quite boring for me. I forgo an outing with some friends as another friend had said that he wanted to buy some sports equipment from Jurong Point. Thus, I waited at home, but there's no outing at all… felt betrayed. Why do people always do that?

People tend to do this: When they need a favour from you, they treat you like sweets, adding more sugar as time passes. When they don't need you anymore, they treat you like grass, stamping their feet on you as if you are not there.

Well, I don't care anymore. I do not wish to waste my time on such things. I believe I have better things to do. Tomorrow, I shall go shopping, probably with my mother, as she wants to buy some things. No more waiting for me.

If I have to wait, I will only wait for a special someone, even if there's some miscommunications, like time and place…

Most useful information discovered today: My HP Printer's ink can last for quite a long time, even when printing colour pages. I printed a total of 12 A4 sized papers, not including those used as test prints and errors. There are still around half of the amount of ink left. And don't forget that I have printed many coloured pages before this project.

OK, one project done, next!

Project #2: Project ChaosLight

No, this is not a project on my webpage, by on my room lightings. I am thinking of changing my 40W fluorescent circular light to 2 20W tubes. I have always wanted my room to have a serene feel. Maybe that's why I chose purple (Lavender) as my wall colour a few years back. I still have to go shop for more wires though. And probably some extra stuff like switches, tube holders, etc.

Simply, it's shopping time tomorrow.

As I am typing this, my hands hurt.

My right hand hurts the most. The fingernail on my forth finger did wrong to the sides of the finger (simply, the fingernail is growing), causing the side of my finger to be slightly painful whenever I use it.

Next, my right hand again. Due to excessive play of badminton, all the smashes and hits had made my right hand sore. It's still a bit sore, and I am trying to get rid of that feeling by moving it more often, stretching and rubbing, but not straining…

Lastly, my tooth. Think there's something wrong with one of them. Whenever I drink something cold, I will fell pain on one of my teeth, specifically one of my molars on the lower left side of my mouth. Too much sweets maybe? But sweets are not my favourites… Hope it's not a tooth decay… I haven't had any tooth fillings… yet.

Ouch…

Tomorrow's a long weekend for me (cleared by 2WO Tony), and Monday's a leave (requested by me)! That means this is my long long long weekend! Think I better do something useful during these 4 days, including tonight.

OK, back to Project Calendar. At least I have the dates of the holidays already…

One of my favourite weather, cold, wet, and nice…

I am starting to plan for things to be done next year. They will be in my Resolution List 2004, and each of them will be a project, since I enjoy naming important tasks as projects.

Think the first one will be Project Address. I think I have not been addressing my parents properly for the past few years. I can't remember when was the last time I called them the way I used to. Nowadays, I just talk to them straight, without calling. Sounds sort of rude, doesn't it? That's why that will be one of my 15 Projects.

Of course, there will be more! I will touch more on the others when I get home.

So let me enjoy this weather…

Lazy to think of a title for this entry, thus the '—'.

Got to book in soon. So sian. Book in all by myself, with no one around (yeah, lots of people on the MRT and buses, but I don't know them).

While carrying out my Project Calendar, I found out that I do not have all the holiday dates for 2004! Got to find a calendar soon, or else my Project will go into the drain… No, I will not allow it to go into the Recycle Bin. Last year's Project X'mas, I also did it. NO exception this year….

Bought a caller-id phone at Giant today. Not bad, quite cheap, and I certainly hope it will last… (People used to say, cheap things don't come good…) Nice blue LCD lighting…

What's going to happen to me for the next few days:
Wednesday: Guard Duty
Thursday: Sleep till 12, then go back workshop.
Friday: proposed CO's Parade in the morning and BN Run in the afternoon. Busy day.
Saturday: Don't know if we are involved in 3rd Div Family Day.

I remembered talking about liars a few entries back. Yeah, this is very true. EVERYONE hates liars, no matter who you are. I hate liars myself too, but sometimes, I DO tell lies too…

I guess whoever tells lies have their own ways of defending themselves. Reasons like 'I do not want you to worry', 'it does not concern you' are the hot favourites, I guess.

Yeah, sometimes, truth hurts… but I feel lies hurt more…

Why can't people be straight-forward? Why do they have to beat about the bush? Is saying the truth that difficult? Maybe…

Honestly, I myself might not be able to say the truth at all times… I can't bring myself to say it out.

*Sigh*… I guess that's one of my good, and bad points… in order not to hurt one, doing another action to cause hurt to another…

Any remedies? Don't think so. I am afterall, human.

Forced off, once again…

Very last-minute thing. Got to know that I am off today, only at 9pm. Yes, 2100hrs!

Well, as I said earlier, Monday will be a tiring day. We worked till 9 plus at night. M113 track and final drive maintenance work.

And here I am, doing nothing at home, except for watching TV and 'Qian Ji Bian' all over again… and I am wearing a sleeveless shirt with a pair of shorts. Cold!! But I quite like this kind of weather, nice to sleep, even though I do not want to sleep my time away.

Got to go find something to do later! Maybe go to Giant at IMM for a bit of shopping? I have no specific directions for today.

OK, back to Project Calendar.