Belief@HazelCafe

Ok, thought it was going to be quite a big outing. It looked like people had lots of last minute things to attend to. Even the organiser himself failed to turn up. What’s this…

People flying kite here and there. Oh well. It’s ok with me. But, at least make yourself contactable, so that we can decide what to do. Whole night wasting sms and call time to find people…

It’s not that fun, you know…

But anyway, the people who were around when we were having our dinner at 9pm, at Genki Sushi @ Marina Square: Waiman, Kelvin, Baolin, Yaobang, Weibiao, and me. 5 people appeared. One direct from US… ok, not say direct, it’s just that, we will not see her that often…

And I am still the darkest skin colour.. Oh well… I shall keep my victory…

Anyway, Kelvin and Weibiao were not in the picture as they left early. This picture was taken when we were about to leave Coffee Club at Cineleisure. Yes, we flew from Marina Square to Orchard, possible because Baolin drove a Lancer…

Carparks were quite abundant tonight, probably due to the fact that today’s the last day of the public holidays. Aw…

Anyway, I think the open area next to JE Mrt station will become the next Orchard MRT station look-alike. Many foreign workers sat on the grass there, and talk and talk and talk… just like what the maids did over at Orchard. Nothing wrong with that. The open ground is there. Use it! Lol…

Ok, I need to sleep soon… update again next time..

Hmmm.. read abit of notes here and there, print some stuff here and there, look at examples here and there, and play here and there…

A typical slacking day…

Tomorrow, all will be back to normal. No. Back to abnormal. No-life days are returning…

But of course, I will keep myself alive, no matter what. Why suffer by having no-life days? Be alive!

Anyway, found the link to another story by the same author of “I Believe You”. Here's the link: http://www.goodybooks.com/followme.htm. Quite a nice story, but then, as usual, you see familiar names in the story… Anyway, the story is not completed yet.

There's a familiar patten in this story… hmm…

Later will be a night at Marina I guess… tomorrow's an early day. Friday's tennis is still in the planning…. Hmm…

Went to play pool with Zhenyao just now. We played from 10 to 1. 3 hours.

In these 3 hours, I tried out many things. I tried different kinds of moods. First, I tried to think only pool, and with that, lots of balls went in. Next, I tried negative thoughts, sad outcomes, looping through them continuously. In the end, I missed most of the shots, and was unable to concentrate. Lastly, I tried positive thoughts, thinking about happy outcomes, and the end result was slightly better. All thoughts are not related to pool, by the way…

Yeah, it's always better to think positive, if it is impossible to think nothing.

And so, sad things affect people more than any other moods. That's why it's easier to write sad songs. That's also why sad songs are somehow more popular, because people identify themselves with the words. They feel that the songs are for them.

That's why I tend to write more of such lyrics also… My thoughts are in that direction. There's not much happiness for me to write about.

I need happiness too. But then, I must learn to accept what's given to me. I must learn to give and accept hurt…

Tonight did not have much people around at RC. I reached there and stoned a while, waiting for Zhenyao to appear. Wished happy new year to the auntie working there… haha.. no angpow of course…

Ate submarine and drank coffee. Tonight's submarine was a bit off, but it's still edible. I think it was because we left them in the open for too long. Even the coffee had turned cold. I drank all in one gulp.

Now? Very tired… Stupid internet disconnect me while I was blah-blahing on MSN halfway. Sleeping soon… nitez…

Yeah, sometimes, it happens.

I thought I can believe, but no, I can’t. It’s really hard to tell, or rather, force myself to believe. But I succeed. When I start believing, I will hold on to it until something else happens. Then I will see if I should continue to believe or not.

Should I choose not to believe, that’s it.

Aiya… let me worry not. I am still me…

Some ideas came through 2 days ago, and I am continuing with it…

如果我知道 我就不会那么烦恼
每当你哭泣或微笑 我都会试着与你唱同调
时候已不早 我该怎样做才好 我不知道
没有暗号 又有谁能够彻底的明了

如果我知道 我就不会那么懊恼
想靠近又想逃跑 在交叉点徘徊无数 我不要
现在需要的 就是你这一把开锁之钥 你应该知道
只有你 才能让我明了 让我知道

Sometimes, what I write reflects on how I think… Hmm…

Looks like I am thinking crap hor…

Well… never mind. Enjoy the hols!!

I want to sleep! I don't want to wake up!!! Aw…

Going out soon I guess. Haiz… lol…

Lalalaaa…

Just now, I was so bored that, I start to observe some msn patterns of certain groups of people…

The pattern: When one is online, the other(s) suddenly appears.

Well well… why I so boliao???!!! But it’s true… It’s interesting… And… Will that be called hiding (offline mode), waiting (away mode), coincidence (perfect timing), or some form of frequency communication?

Hahaha… cool. So lame.Whatever.

Anyway, I woke up at 8 this morning, and went to 拜祖先 with my mum. Hmm… Telok Kurau once again. Lots of people today. Aunties, uncles, and little girls and boys here and there. Teens? Only girls… I wonder where the guys have gone? But it did not matter much anyway… Lol… ooo cute girls around… 😛

Nah… I was just admiring ok.

Just seen the news reporting about a family eating reunion dinner. How fun. So many people around… lol… as for my little family, only 3 of us.. Hmm… ok la it’s not that bad actually. Yes, next time will be better, I hope. “Next time” refers to some time later, not so soon.

And then, I suddenly think of this: next time, when you get married, will you still be living together with your parents? For me, I think I will. I won’t mind expanding the family. As in, everyone lives under one common roof. With positive thoughts, this will enable everyone to care for each other. With negative thoughts, disagreements are possible too. But then, I will still prefer a bigger family.

Nah… all these are only possible if I have the ability. The ability to be accepted first, followed by the ability to carry this plan out. What ability? Financial ability…

So, I will need someone to share this “burden” together, to go through thick and thin together, and to be supportive of each other…

Hahhaa… chinese new year wish? Abit too far-fetched maybe? It’s still quite far away…

Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year to all!!! Ahhhahahaha!!!

Kill them all. Trash them. No mercy.

My mind was full of pool. No other thing. I have decided to put everything one side. No thinking of tutorial. No thinking of people. No thinking of anything else, except pool. Managed to secure the win most of the time.

Leave no mercy.

After the pool game, we went to Mac to eat. Crapped there for a while before going home. Gossip, crap, whatever.

And now, I am home. Pool is out of my mind. And other things start to be restored into my mind. Kind of makes me low, but then, what can I do actually?

I can do nothing.

Hmm.. someone has told me before that I am good at pretending to be hardworking and attentive when actually I am not. Maybe, I should start to get used to giving a smilie face even when I am sad, disappointed, or even angry. That might come in handy one fine day. Currently, I know I can’t. Maybe, I can smile, but definitely not talk normally. It’s just too difficult for now. Maybe, I will be able to do that soon.

But then, is it really possible?

Soon, everything will be clearer. Soon, I will know. Soon, I will understand. Success and failure are 2 different things…

如果我知道。。。

Played tennis this morning. 8am. I reached the tennis court at around 7.40am. Very early. And so, I stoned there, and ate my little breakfast which I have bought from 7-eleven @ Teban. Not much variety. My breakfast was corn bun and soy bean drink…

Morning, sitting at the steps facing the running track can be quite a shiok thing to do actually. The wind gently blowing, the sunlight gently shining through, lightening up the sky, signalling the start of a beautiful morning…

I saw Lionel in the court at 8, and so I walked in. A while later, Ben appeared. Next came Xinli. Sent the coach to teach the newcomer. Yeah, the newcomer needed more time to get the stroke right. More practice is needed.

I think I have found my own style. I think. I quite like the way I hit the ball…. lol… Think have to further improve on it though…

EE2011 was lots of question marks. The tutorial was slightly better. After some explanation, the tutor made the questions seemed so much easier. Hmm…

And after that, Chunjian, Edwin, Joan and I went to the canteen. And then Edwin went off to fulfill his “community service” to Lynn, and the three of us just sat around, and crap and gossip for quite some time. Lots of gossips. Lots of theories. Lots of outcomes.

After that, we went our separate ways…

I decided to take 188, since the bus came.

Reached IMM once again. No… no Giant. The queue was scary enough. Walked around. Saw a nice Seiko watch. The price tag was almost $0.5k la! Wahsey… Bought some food, and went to take bus back to JE central. The place where people usually cross the road to walk to and from IMM had been fenced up, and so, either one uses the overhead bridge, or walk further down to cross the road, or even better, climb over the railings. Climbing is not recommended. Walking a longer distance is bad if you are carrying much stuff.

Since I have the bus concession stamp, why not just take a bus from the IMM bus stop?

Took the 143 that was powered by natural gas. Quite a smooth journey home. The engine was quiet. The noise was acceptable. Nice seat. But then, the flight of stairs may be a hazard… 2 steps some more…

Ok, back to doing things. Do what? How I know?

Ok la… go and think about what to do then…

It’s going to be CNY… lalaalalaaaa…

This year, the celebration atmosphere is not anywhere. Don’t feel anything. It’s just another holiday. A holiday that I have to get out of my home and visit relatives.

It’s not that I do not like to go find them, but then, it’s always the same old question… I can predict what they will ask…

“当兵完了吗?”

“做工还是读书?”

“读哪里? 读几年?”

“有没有女朋友?”

Hmm… and my replies will still be the same… as always…

Will there be something new, I wonder?

Ok, nothing much. Took a look at 2011 tutorial, and decided to throw it aside. I have returned all the maths to the maths lecturer.

In the evening, I decided against cutting hair. Too tired to wait for 2 people to arrive. I went into NTUC and bought some stuffs instead, and went home…

Tried to cook out some eggs. It did not taste that great. Something’s wrong. I wonder what it was.

Perhaps it’s the mood. When mood’s not there, cooking something sweet and even turn bitter.

Suddenly, a thought…

A story consists of an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. A series of stories usually ends with a conclusion that is not very conclusive, and that will stir up people’s curiosity, and they will ask about the ending. The story continues in the next ‘episode’, and still, it’s not conclusive.

How many episodes can one afford to wait, before the story ends, and another story starts? How many people will still be interested in a story that promises to end, but doesn’t? Will the story still be exciting and fresh, or will it be stale and repetitive?

Some stories can last very long because the writer knows how to further develop the storyline to make it interesting. Some stories cannot even be completed. And some stories, having gone a long way, have made people sick of them… Some just go ahead and blend the stories into another story, losing the original flavour…

The same old stories. The same old lies. The same old tricks…

What will the conclusion be? No one knows, until it is written down. Therefore, write it down soon…

Went to claim my free tickets to the preview of “I Not Stupid Too”(小孩不笨2). The other ticket went to Junrong. I met him there…

My lesson ended 5.45pm. I flew to the bus stop after visiting the toilet. Waited for 97. It came 5 minutes later. I boarded it. And it seemed like a wrong choice. The journey was slower than expected. Lots of stops, and lots of working people boarding and alighting. The longest stop was at Harbourfront, where the people alighted. Along the way, traffic was slow, and the bus encountered lots of red lights. Saw the River Hongbao stuffs that were still being set up. Saw that tall ??? also… lol… And ofcourse, the Durian…

Reached Suntec Convention Centre at 6.55pm. Walked with a fast pace all the way to Shaw Towers. Along the way, some guy stopped me, and tried to talk, and introduced himself as Richard, and I knew that he’s out to sell me some things. I was already short for time, and you still stop me??! Cannot see that I was not walking around shopping with my pace? I stopped for you because I thought you were lost, and wanted to ask for directions, not to chit-chat.

Reached there by 7pm. Lots of people were still getting the tickets. I got them, and me and Junrong went into Prince 2. I liked the place! big screen, quite spacious, head can rest, and superb sound system. Very good surround sound. I like!!! No time to buy any food, so in the end, I munched on M&Ms bought from that machine, which I got 2 packets at the price of 3… duhz… stupid machine failed to dispense, and yet deducted money from my card! Ahhh!!! And anyway, yeah, ate the whole packet as Junrong did not want any…

Ok, about the show…

The show was somehow, a continuation from part 1, although some of the ideas have changed. The kids have grown up…

The storyline? Basically it’s about how the boys were misunderstood by parents, teachers, and society, and how failure in communication can affect ties, and in some parts, indirectly shooting “mysterious organisations”, which is somehow, the style of Director Jack Neo. Funny scenes are funny, of course, and some parts are very touching. I also buay tahan…

I can feel them… but then, no la… tears never roll down leh… only very hydrated contact lenses…

I will give it 4/5 ba…

But then, why all the problems are with the guys? What about the girls???

Hmm.. and then I wondered, when was the last time I was being praised, and when was the last time I praised anyone? Hmm… I think, I did, for both? No idea… But one thing is for sure: Positive feedback is powerful.

The show was 2 hrs +. Mr Law and Joan were still around at Bugis. But then, I lazy to walk there, so instead, I walked back and took 97 back to JE. Almost missed the stop opposite the 7-eleven. Woke up just in time, and walked half-asleep out of the bus… I think I was still sleeping when I was crossing the road…

Later will be a 9am day. Aw… Go to the lab and stare ba… it’s an intro lab anyway, and so, I don’t think there’s anything much… I hope to be able to have lunch at 11am…. lol…

Shop shop shop shop shop….