Belief@HazelCafe

Basically, stoned the whole day away.

Morning, went for tennis. Sux at it. Somehow was unable to hit correctly.

Went to JP again. Just for fun. Nothing to buy actually.

Then went to JE. Same. Nothing to buy.

Then, home. Read a bit of comic book, and fell asleep, and woke up, and stoned.

Watched movies on TV.

Really. Stone. Don’t feel like doing any other thing.

Sometimes, certain bubbles get burst, just because of certain comments.

Sometimes, certain ideas and plans, get washed out, just because of certain words.

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You know, thoughts and reality: they are totally different. I thought of getting someone to go out tomorrow.

I think, I will change my mind.

Bubbles…

Well, it’s tiring…

Especially when someone’s came in screaming at us.

That screaming, we are all used to it, somehow.

It’s just that, can that kind of screaming come, when we are not that busy, not that tired, not that @#)&@#(*?

LOL.

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When I say I am tired, I mean… I am tired. I want to sleep soon…

Sometimes, I think, why am I working so hard? Why am I doing so much things at one time? Why am I doing things, while others can go off at 6pm, even though they too, have things to do?

The reasons that I have in mind:

• I am the most free. I can work all day, without much distractions. Oh well, maybe I will get distracted when I am doing something important, and some group is having a chit-chat session right beside me. Non-work. That can piss me off sometimes. Some people had already tried this on me. I was super pissed at that time. And sometimes, I get distracted by some other things too…
• I am responsible for what I do. I am assigned something to do, and it is my duty to complete that task to the best of my ability. I don’t like to do things halfway. I want to do things completely. I was very pissed when I was assigned to work on software 1 year ago. And I am still pissed. But I still have to complete my stuffs, to make sure it’s safe, crash-proof, accurate, and reliable. But what I am doing now has not much weight on safety.
• I want it that way. Sometimes, work at night can be a bliss…
• I don’t feel like going home early. This reason is CRAP.

Now, I just want to finish up what I have to do, and move on.

But, I have not much motivation to speed up.

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Sometimes, I will just throw down my programming, and go off to do some hardware stuffs. It’s refreshing. And anyway, I need to understand the hardware, in order to create the software. Why work on software, when you are totally clueless about what you are interfacing with?

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It feels cold sometimes. It feels warm sometimes. It’s complex, complicated, and confusing. I need motivation. When I have something in mind, usually, I will not let go, until that something’s gone. That’s something that I like/hate about myself. Why do I have such perseverance?!

Why, do I not see the end of the tunnel, and yet, I still walk on? I may fall into some hole, and never get up again. Why, do I still carry on?

I don’t know. I just know I have to.

Please, stop me, or guide me along. Please, do not leave me hanging. Please…

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Worked till 9pm tonight. Took cab with Calvin, and got off at Toh Guan. Bought home a half spring chicken rice. Got home via 105 + 79. Bathe, ate, and stoned, and soon, it’s 10.45pm. And now, it’s 12+.

I… have nothing else to say already. I have no motivation to carry on typing.

Does anyone knows why?

I was going past this road just now, and I had nothing better to do other than stone and keeping wide away, given the way the F1-cum-taxi driver was driving his Sonata.

Ok, side track. The sonata’s horsepower is awesome. The driver could floor his accelerator, and the RPM reached 3000+, and the car moved off at some crazy speeds. And the driver had got god-like reflexes too. Maybe he’s like Jay Chou in Initial-D. He saw the other cars moving very slowly, but in fact, he had become faster. Duhz..

Ok back to the topic.

So what is Leng Kee? Is it a person’s name? Or is it because long ago, there’s an air-con factory there? “Leng Kee” sounds like aircon (冷气) in Hokkien. Or is it because that place it super cooling?

Ok, let me go find out. I remembered borrowing a book long ago (damn long ago… I don’t even remember when was it), from NLB, about Singapore road names and their meanings and histories. Now, what’s the book’s name?

Sianz.. why NLB does not have a database of books that a user had borrowed before? LOL…

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Had dinner at Bugis. Had some Korean BBQ chicken and beef, and korean rice cake in…er… kimchi soup? And Katong Laksa. And mixed fruits with mango sherbet and milk. I think. Wahaha.. Yummy wor…

Checked the price of iPhone and HD2. HD2 is $950. iPhone is $30 more.

Erm.. what about Nexus? Heh…

Well, wait for more to be announced over the night…

Ok, I do not know why, but somehow, I like maple leaves. They made me feel relaxed, in a strange sort of way. And so, here’s my mapleleaf-themed blog.

Changes are still ongoing, whenever I have the time. I will change little things here and there. Currently, you see the header image. Next, I am going to put in my own photos for the image loop.

I have also changed the time display, to show the time when I posted a blog. I have also used a background. Other changes include colours, and colours, and basically, colours.

Let’s see what other fun things I can do…

Did some “What I did in 2009” notes thingy in FB some time back.

Someone said I should also tick “broke someone else’s heart”…

This is something that I think, is so… I don’t know.

I thought I should tick “had your heart broken” instead…

I am confused by that comment. Very.

Maybe I am just… as usual… thinking too much.

Oh well.

Went for a mini KBox session at Marina Square! A total of 5 people: Me, Xinli, Junrong, Chunjian, Xiao Li (CJHO’s gf).

We sang like siao (ok, not like shit. We never were.. WHAHAHA!). Tried crazy songs once in a while, and then singer-specified ‘marathons’.

And that Xinli, went to sing that hokkien song, 车站… wad e… LOL…

Junrong and I went to try 王妃… Equally crazy.

Chunjian and Xiao Li sang some old old songs too. Wahaha..

We were all crazy!

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Ok, 2 out of 3 caps that I have bought, have found their new owner! No photos yet. Wait ba.

Usually, when I bring out something that’s originally mine, and I share it with somebody, it is with intention to be given away. As long as you try it, and you like it.

Try, and you shall gain. LOL…

And so, Xinli walked off with 2 caps. 1 red, and 1 pink! I kept that grey 1 for myself. Heh heh…

We’ve got some crazy photos, somewhere in Xinli’s Ixus 110. Wait ba wait ba…

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And then, where else can I go after that? Home la. I have no intention to walk in shopping malls alone today. Junrong also went home after that.

I took 97, and slept almost all the way to JE. Bought some things home, and then stoned…

Tried carrot soya milk. LOL… actually ok la… I don’t really taste the carrot. Too much sugar syrup has been put in. Oh well. Maybe next time I shall ask them to put less syrup. Yeah, you can taste the texture of the carrot fibers… mmm…

First stop was Bukit Batok. Collected my specs. I looked kind-of strange to me. Hmmm…

Second stop was West Mall library. Book dropped the 2 books. The date due’s today.

Third stop. Tiong Bahru.

I ended up at Tiong Bahru Plaza once again. This time, it was for a mini JC gathering. We had the following people: Me, Zhonghui, Junjie, Tinghan, and Mr Eugene Chan.

Er… basically, it’s the 4 of us, plus an extra VIP. LOL! Someone whom I had not seen, since JC days. LOL…

Well well, he still looked the same, somehow. Heh.

Anyway, we had dinner at Rajah Inn. My second visit in 2 days. Oh well. Never mind, this time I had the herbal soup. We had the buffet dinner, and we ordered food steadily. I had to use the word ‘steadily’ because it was not like how we ate during army days or at the buffet dinner with the work team last time: order like crazy. We tested water first, see the serving size.

Yeah, old people don’t eat too much anyway.

We ate, we crapped, we stoned, all the way to 10pm.

Come think of it, it’s been 10 years already, since JC days. We went into SAJC in January 2000. We were in the same class: 1S19. Mr Eugene Chan was our CT. We were a crazy bunch of people, doing crazy things.

The first 3 months were so fun.

Until the ‘O’ Levels results were released.

We got separated into different classes. The majority remained in the main class: 00S73. A few, like me, ended up in 00S71. Some ended up in 00S54. A minority ended up in some other classes, and some were out of SAJC.

00S73 felt more fun. 00S71, I think, overall, was quite sianz. Maybe that’s why I did not really enjoy JC life. The surroundings, the people, and the environment, felt strange. The school’s OK. The teachers’ were OK too.

So much that, I think, during my JC days, there’s not much class outings. It’s always school, home, school, home.

So boring.

Do I need to spell it out, that I had a boring class for my 2 years in JC?

Never mind. I just did.