Belief@HazelCafe

Yeah, I guess, sometimes, I really don't understand. Why things are done this way and not the other, why decisions are made this way, why choices are picked this way…

It's just how people see things.

People see things differently. For example, a simple conversation in someone's daily activity may be seen as something more in another person's perceptive. A normal dinner may be seen as a candlelight dinner…

Many things… shows, outings, rides, walks, etc etc etc…

I look around, and I see things the way I see them. People who really care, will try to explain. People who don't, never mind. I try not to mind. But don't start blaming me and say that I don't understand. I AM trying to understand. YOU are the one who's preventing me from understanding.

Why? Who will bother to explain things to me, once they have labelled me with a flag that writes “one who doesn't understand”? Who will really care about such things? So what?

Ok…. stay calm, boy… that's no need to be so worked up…

But, it hurts…

Went to school for a make-up tutorial. Quite ok I think. I like the way the tutor explains things. I think he can go and become a very good lecturer. He will get a very good appraisal from me in April I guess.

Actually, all my tutors are good this sem! Wow… Now I will have a fun time writing appraisals…

After that make-up, we went to have lunch at Engin canteen, and then went up to the lab. Lab opened only at 1.45pm, and we sat at the bench outside, doing whatever things we wanted. Went in, and I completed my soldering of the 2 wires. I was playing around with programming till 5pm. Went over to Co-op to walk around, and bought semi-log graph paper for any future uses. Stayed around Arts till about 6.30pm, just sitting there, talking crap, enjoying the breeze, and at the same time, thinking of nonsense. Wondering. Prediction. Hypothesis. Intuition.

Going home was smooth traffic. I reached the Archi bus stop, and 1 minute later, 188 came. I alighted after the bus turned into the expressway, and 97 was right behind. Got off at JE library and walked around, to 7-Eleven. Bought a can of root beer. I seldom buy drinks that are so sweet. I only drink very sweet drinks when I am having some siao siao problems here and there… it's a replacement for coffee ice blended. Auntie Bee Choo (today then knew her name) asked me to fill in the duno-wat card… seen before, but did not really fill in… I just fill 1 in for her lor.. heehee… next time fill for the rest.. wahaha

143 came when I was still drinking root beer. Drank fast, and boarded the bus. Home.

I still don't know what I am really doing.

Went for my dental at NUH in the morning. Smooth… Out of there in half an hour. Fast…

Ok, after so many visits, I should have remembered some names of the people there, by right? Connie, Julia, Dr Ong, Dr Elaine… erm… what’s the name of Dr Ong’s helper, I don’t seem to remember, but from what I feel, it’s quite a unique name… and what’s the name of the other pretty lady? Omg…. 忘了! Lol… Never mind…

Bought soya milk from the 7-Eleven there. That was my pre-breakfast…

And then, I took 963, since it arrived first. Ended up at Causeway Point. Enquired about internet at the Hello! Shop, and that guy told me to sign up online instead, which I had done so 2 hours ago…

Yeah, there’s this girl who took the same bus as me from NUH all the way to Woodlands. Looked ok too. Hmm… And when I walked out of Hello! Shop, I saw her walking out from Cold Storage… Wahh…

Yeah yeah.. I only noticed girls… wahahaha….

And here’s my breakfast/lunch! Salad fish with rice! It’s damn ex la… $4.30… should have bought the 海鲜炉 instead… looked yummy…looked yummy…

I realised that I had left out the bundung! Hmm… Sat there and ate while watching Winter Olympics on the big big TV. They were damn pro ar!!! Prooo…..

After that, I walked around, and saw a siao siao face coming up from the escalator. CJ HO! He was meeting his gf there, and was walking around while waiting. Good bf eh? Always early… but that does not mean late bf is bad.. wahaha…

Walked around a bit, and went over to the library to stone for a while, and then back to take 961. Noticed Nanyang Girls and NJC on my left this time. Hmmm.. NJCs’ slanted roof makes me think of solar panels, but without the solar cells… wahaha…

Got off at Chinatown and bought myself a bottle of 罗汉果. mMmmm… and then took 33 to Bugis to jalan jalan. Walked over to Sim Lim, bought nothing much, or rather, did not want to buy anything more. Walked back to Bugis Junction and walked here and there, nothing in mind to buy. I was about to cross the road over to the Library to pay my first visit, when the phone rang! Aw… Next time ba…

Met Zhangkai at the bus stop, and we took 51 together. Blah blah about stuff all the way to Hougang… and we went over to his little shop there…

Tada!

Hmm… lots… I see liao also don’t know how to choose… he explained to me alot regarding all these. Very informative. I like…

Lol… Yeah bought 1 bracelet for mum, 1 necklace for dad. And I had a bracelet and a necklace for myself…

Tada…

Act hiao…

And thanks Zhangkai for giving me great deals! Shall direct customers to you! Here’s the address:
Siang Yong
Wholesale & Retail od DZI BEADS
BLK 8 Hougang Ave 3
#01-24
Singapore 530008
Tel: 6286 5207

If you are interested, you can call, or you can find me, and I shall introduce Zhangkai to you…

Later will be having a tutorial. Wahhhh… and after that, programming time…

Let’s hope I can finish the programming ba… I don’t want to go under the table to plug in the wire into my computer…

Wahh.. today was a shiok bball day. No rain! The sun was so BIG…. as usual

Played till what time, I have forgotten. It did not matter. Time, is not important on a day where time did not matter.

When I was about to leave home for JE, I was thinking if I would rain. It did not, which was a good thing. And now, I can feel my skin burning once again… ahhh…

I think, while people use the holidays to become whiter, my holidays were always spent getting blacker… wahahaha…

And maybe I should have a change in hair colour? Then can contrast.. wahahaa… At the moment, some strands of my hair already looked like they have been bleached and dyed a light golden brown, due to swimming and sunlight I guess… 

Well… maybe not.

Why ar… I don't seem to be able to run Update Service???

Duhz.. stupid software… or maybe the user is stupid…

watever…

Went for pool session with Zhenyao last night. Here’s Zhenyao in his Liteace… wahaha

Camera’s night mode. Not bad actually…

We reached at around 10pm, and waited till around 10.30pm for a table. So many people!!! Maybe it’s Friday, that’s why… Xiuli and friends were there too. We played at their table for a while, while waiting…

While waiting for Zhenyao to shoot a ball, I fished out the phone, and took this shot. Only then I realised, actually, I had a sms! OMG… did not hear anything, did not feel anything.. Hmm…

We played till 1.30am, and he dropped me off at the usual place, and I walked back. On my way back, there’s this taxi and a police car along the road. I wondered what happened? Hmm.. don’t know…

Reached home, and decided to finish up the LSM assignment. Slept at 2.45am, and woke up at 9am this morning…. laalala….

Good weather… should have gone to swim… aw…

Yes… photo updates!

Received 小金 on Tuesday!

ooOooo yummy yummy! Ate it up when I came home yesterday, before the ants got it… heh heh… Thanks ar!! =) *muackz* 😛

Wahaha…

Went to get 2 albums on Wednesday!

Ok, both albums are nice!! oOoooo The posters are nice too~

At the lab on Thursday, here’s what we did:

Yeah! Soldering work! This is my completed work (or rather, only 7/9 complete, because there’s 2 more wires not soldered…) Nice! Lol…

And all’s busy soldering before that… (pic from Xinli…)

And then, inspecting the completed job…

And then, it’s lunch time!!!! Wahahaa..

And then, during lecture, 3 people were happily sleeping away…. zzzz

And for today, I went to swim at BB in the morning, and then went over to IMM in search for my breakfast. Since I don’t seem to find anyone who’s interested in 蚝仔面线, this became my breakfast:

XXL 鸡排!!!

Reached school at 11am. Since it’s early, I ended up sitting at the bus stop to finish up the fillet. mMmmm… after that, I went up to PC cluster, and realised that, there wasn’t anything for me to print, and so, I got out and went over to the Audi instead.

I have not stone in here for a long time.  It’s still as quiet and as cold…

It rained again in the afternoon. Great… Walked in the rain again, this time, I bothered to take out my “raincoat”… Shiok… I like!!!

Been listening to JJ’s songs, and I quite like this tune, and then, I started to look into the lyrics…

Down
Lyrics/ Tune: JJ 林俊杰

I can’t believe it
Tell me I’m dreaming
That we are still ‘we’?

It was amazing
Said you were lucky
That you found me

It was on a rainy day that we met
You didn’t have a place to go
I said we just met so lets go slow but no
You just told me to keep you from the cold

Sorry I can’t take it
Why did you fake it
Why did we kiss

And I’m just down
You left me with a note without a sound
I figured I must have been such a child
You’ll never know how much I’ve been around
How my heart just frowns

If you’re down
I’ll be your teddy bear, I’ll be your clown
I’ll take you round and round and
If you don’t mind I could be your standing ground
Even if that means I’d drown

And baby, that’ll be my one last vow

It has the same tune as another of his songs, 熟能生巧. Nice…

I have been waiting for this day for a long long time… Thursday…

Tired… very tired. I need to sleep early tonight to restore back my energy. I wonder where have my energy gone to?

Anyway, it rained on my way back home. So shiok. Too lazy to open the umbrella to walk from the bus stop back to my home, and so, I walked in the rain. Yeah. Walked.

Mapping into the rain. Me and rain as one…

Crapp…

I shall remain happy. The rain is the true reflection maybe, but then, indeed it feels better, to just avoid and think positive, and agree that some people are just better off than some others.

Comparison hurts too…

I am who I am. This is my standard. This is my Belief.

Anyway, I am going to change the layout soon. I will be removing flash. Too resource-consuming, some said. I know it is, as I did preview on my desktop, and the leaves are crawling… Ok, a flash-free, or a less-flash version soon ba…

A cleaner, simplier one. Why make things so complicated?

64 years ago, on this day, was when the British surrendered to the Japanese, during World War II. And so, 15 February is Total Defence Day. (I hope I get my facts correct)

But anyway, here's the link to the website regarding total defence: www.totaldefence.org.sg.

Ok, let's remove hatred mode…

It's strange. Hatred mode can be removed that easily. Why??

I know why. I think I know. Never mind.

I am currently in Hatred mode…

Beware… or you shall be burnt…

[7.00pm]
Tried to blog, but the server's down. I think it has gone on a date too.

Whenever I am down, the server's down too. Whenever I am having some problem, the server too. So next time, when the server's down, it may just mean that I am down… quite accurate actually.

As usual, I am getting quite sick at looking at my HP periodically for any “status changes”. It's like that. When people are enjoying, they tend to just forget all about you. And so, here I am, back home, trying to find the correct mode/mood to finish up my lab report which will be dued tomorrow noon.

MOV AX, FEELINGS
PUSH AX
POP AX
XOR AX

Sometimes, it's not that some people do not want to do things. It's just the attitude and the signal you send to the other person. Person A send a signal Y, and Person B is not responding or giving another signal Z, and probably giving the signal Y to another Person C. And so, who suffers?

Think about it.

So be it. Let this be the way.

Yeah. Happy Valentine's Day to all couples and couples-to-be. Happy Friendship day to all the others. And in case people start asking me the questions, although a lot of my friends have asked similar questions today, I answer them again, in greater detail.

No. I did not go out. I did not ask. My disbelief is too strong. I have been given negative or no response for too many times. I can say that the outcome will be the same no matter what. My belief is that no one's giving me a chance. No one believes in me. I don't know if there's any other outing. If there is, good. If there is not, then good also. It really doesn't matter, as long as it's a happy outcome.

Never mind about me. I am just a normal person. A single person. A person who loves but is not loved…

Never mind…

[8.10pm]
Now, even the internet wants to make fun of me…

Haiz… never mind…