Belief@HazelCafe

I think…..

Hmmm.. I think I will update later… wahahaa…

Anyway, it feels good to be playing guitar, in the office, at 6.30pm, with all the lights switched off. Song after song we tried…

So soothing…

I have lots to say. But no one’s listening.

I have been on my own for so long. It’s starting to tire me out. Sometimes, it just feels strange, to be walking all over the place, alone, and with not much aim, just floating around, and wondering, what am I doing?

Often at night, when I am on my way home, I will look at the sky. Sometimes, I see clouds. Sometimes, I see stars. Occasionally, I see the moon. It feels so good to stare at the night sky.

“Stars, shiny shiny stars… twinkling twinkling stars…
Where is my love, whoever you are…”

Wahh… ok ok! Not emo mood ok… just random. Hahaha…

I have been living with the “life’s not fair” motto for quite some time. It’s always been like that. But then, we all do not know the final outcome. We do not know exactly the effect of whatever that has happened today, on tomorrow. We do not know the future.

And people say, plan for the future.

No, I don’t plan. I have tried spending lots of time thinking of what I want to do, and all my plans got disrupted due to one single happening. That is why, my decisions are often impromptu.

I work well with people who are somewhat like me. People who are flexible. People who don’t mind changes in plans. People who are just onz. And of course, I enjoy their company. It’s mutual, I think.

And sometimes, I think I care too much about others, so much that, I become the good guy. But no, I am a bad guy. There’s not much chance for me to show the world how bad I can be.

I am human. I need people to care about me too.

Does anyone care? Really? I don’t think so. It’s back to the same old question, about priorities. About choices. About preferences.

It’s just like, how, when I say something, some people can just never respond, while when another person say the same thing a while later, the response is spontaneous. It’s just like, how, when I say something, some people can just be pissed, while when another person say the same thing, the topic becomes a joke. And more, it’s just like, how, when I do something, people just negate my efforts, while when another person do the same thing, he/she gains credit. There are more, of course.

Eye, body, ears, head, legs, hands…

Life’s not fair, remember? And we won’t know the final outcome.

I think I am going mad. I need someone to save me. But I guess, only I can save myself, because nobody cares.

As usual. Lk. Saving himself from the darkness. Let there be Light…

Ok, a gentle reminder to myself. It’s not the end of the world yet, regardless of others’ decisions.

But, I just need a chance… would you give me a chance?

…

Friday was a long one, that stretched from 6am till almost 10am the next day!

Woke up as usual, and went for work. It was going to be a full YC day. Reached the destination as usual.

The initial plan was to go to the Airshow at 10am. However, due to some crappy happenings, plans change. In the end, we split into 2 groups. One went in the morning, another went in the afternoon.

Airshow was ok. Hot. We missed the aerial display. Too bad. Took some pics here and there.

And then, back at YC at 3pm. Somehow, the IA students were unable to get a cab to go back to AMK to do their clearance. And so, I had to drive them there. And so I did.

1 thing for sure, I enjoyed driving in the rain. Somehow. I always think, how nice it will be, to be driving in the rain. Crazy as it may be, during army days, when I was driving the V200, I often hoped for rain. It somehow felt refreshing. There were occasions where I would be totally soaked in the rain, and still, able to drive.

Ok, maybe I should just change my sentence. I love the rain. LOL.

Anyway, it did rain, when we were on SLE towards YCK. Haha. Nice! Went up to 4th floor office, and stoned there while waiting for bh and gs and steven to finish with their clearance.

And then, received a last-minute detail over the phone: to collect something from kallang. And so, we went. We were on an extremely tight schedule then.

1. to collect stuffs from kallang, by 6pm.
2. to collect bbq stuffs from kembagan, by 6pm.
3. to buy bottles and ice.
4. to buy dvd-r.

And so, we flew down to kallang. Then we flew up to the 6th floor. Signed for the stuffs, and flew back down, and flew off to kembagan.

Climbing 6 flights of stairs have little impact on me nowadays. LOL. But sometimes my knees will hurt a little, from last time. Most probably from those little injuries sustained every week during Sunday bball sessions.

Collected stuffs from kembagan, and we headed off to TM. Got some strange request to NOT go back to YC. Was quite duhz when I got that kind of news. But nevertheless, got back to YC eventually.

And what have I done the whole day?

NOTHING.

NB… pissed…

And then, it was bbq time!

I just do not understand, what is the point of having a bbq, when some other people are still working here and there, like there’s no other better occasion to do things?

NB… pissed…

The bbq was alright. I could count what I have eaten: 2 sticks of satay, 1 piece of curry chicken, some beehoon, 1 crab stick, half a hot dog, and a sweet potato.

I just do not understand, why some people can just sit there, wait for food, eat all the food, and do nothing else the whole night.

NB… pissed…

But then, bbq la… I liked to bbq food myself. I just do not like to have an empty stomach.

We ended everything at around 12am. Somehow, 4 siao people decided to stay overnight. Played bridge, played taidee, and a failed attempt to have a HTHT session.

We got out of YC at 7.15am, on the free shuttle bus.

I did not sleep at all, throughout the night. When I got nothing to do, I was thinking… and thinking… and thinking… But I don’t think anyone cared anyway, so I just stoned, and think…The more I think, the more sad I become, and so, I decided to get out of office for a while, to look at the sky which was slowly getting brighter.

The start of a new day.

It’s been quite some time since I last stayed awake the whole night. The very last time was a few years ago I think, when I was trying to sleep at 5am in the morning, but failed, because I had 2 cans of Nescafe Latte earlier. Usually, when I stay awake, it was due to some project deadlines. I won’t stay awake to study. No point. I will stay awake to chat with people, to a certain extent.

Went over to TM for a light breakfast. I think I was just… too hungry to even finish my bread.

Shared cab home. Tried to sleep at 10am. woke up at 1pm. Was too sianz to continue sleeping, and so, I ended up watching 我和僵尸有个约会2 on MioTV. Went out of home at 2.30pm, to play tennis with hh.

Played till around 5pm. And then, I went over to queensway to collect my racket. And then, took 198. Slept on the bus. So shiok. Bought dinner back home, and continued to do nothing, until 11pm, where I fell asleep on the sofa, and only woke up at 4am.

Duhz…

Long day wor…

Weekend’s gone…

Oh man.. it always takes something to happen, before a lesson can be learnt.

Such painful losses. Loss of memorable things. Loss of such beautiful events.

Our brain has this little memory. Memories are not that lasting after all.

Alternatives fail, too.

Oh man…

……………………………………

Lesson learned:  Always bring spare batteries. Including extra AA batteries for external flash unit for the camera…

KNS…

I am awake..

I have been awake for the past 28 hours.

And I am still awake.

But I will sleep soon. Taking a nap. And then. I shall see how.

I am still wondering… Maybe I should confirm something, and correct something if it’s incorrect, or emphasize something if it’s correct.

It looks negative though. And it looks positive.

kns…

Oh man.. I think I work better in the dark wor…

In the office, I will not opt to switch on all lights. I will on alternate rows of lighting. Sometimes, I get to do that, and no one ever realises that the office is a bit dark. LOL…

I just don’t see why do we need so many lights.

If I have the chance, I will work in the dark.

………………………………..

It’s scary.

Am I really talking to who I think I am talking to online?

Do you have that kind of feeling before? That someone’s behind that mask. Someone that you are not expecting.

Online life, is never easy.

It’s scary.

………………………………..

Actually, working in the dark, is scary too, in another way.

What are you trying to hide, by working in the dark?

Lol… chim eh…

Woah… Tired leh…

Wahliew…

It’s never good to work in an environment, with wireless transmissions all over the place!

Duhz…

Well well well… Finally… I cannot book IPPT already. I cannot book RT too.

….

Wahahhaa….