Belief@HazelCafe

November is coming to an end.

Yeah.

I looked back at the past month, and think, what have I actually done for this month?

Nothing significant.

…

Maybe there was, but it turned out becoming not very significant, because the outcome was somewhat not something that I hoped for.

…

I think, people treat me too seriously. People who treat me seriously all the time, are those that don’t really know me. I am not a @*#@!(@!) serious person while there’s no serious things around.

Seriously, no one will believe what I said. Once people are led into a belief, they tend to stick to it. Never let go.

For the past YEARS, everyone has been taking me too seriously. There’s not much fun in my life.

I feel so lifeless.

Get a Life, Lk.

…

While walking home just now, I enjoyed the cool wind. My MP3’s playing Jay’s 蒲公英的約定. I looked at the half moon up in the sky, and that bright star not far from it.

It felt good.

Wind, plus the starting part of the song. It just feels right somehow. At least I feel that way.

蒲公英的约定

唱：周杰伦
词：方文山
曲：周杰伦

小学篱芭旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也还是很好听

将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里

一起长大的约定 那样清晰
打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今唯一坚持的任性

在走廊上罚站打手心
我们却注意窗边的蜻蜓
我去到哪里你都跟很紧
很多的梦在等待着进行

一起长大的约定 那样清晰
打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今唯一坚持的任性

一起长大的约定 那样真心
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情还是错过的爱情

Finally, it’s about time.

YC days are here.

But not for long.

Nowadays, I have been quite busy. With crap stuffs. As usual.

I think, I need sleep.

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Anyway, suddenly, the whole world’s getting married.

I just got myself a bomb this afternoon. It has been scheduled to explode in July 2010.

Wahhaa…

And I saw people posting ROM pics, wedding banquet pics, studio shots, etc, etc, etc.

Wow…

It’s THAT age already.

When strange things start happening, you begin to wonder, what happened?

Nevermind, let me start on a less scary thing.

We went for lunch at Tampines 1 on Friday! Kim Gary! They all agreed, so I won. Lol. Somehow, I don’t know why, I like that kind of food. Somehow.

It was raining anyway. We could not do much that day. Quite a sian day.

And then, the most sian thing happened: more additions to software. Which means, more problems. And that will be more headaches later.

WTF. How do one actually stop touching the codes when the new requirements just keep on popping out of nowhere?

Again. WTF.

But, nevermind! Don’t panic! Lol! I love my current arrangement in my codes, so the implementation should only take me half a day, at most 1 day.

Any more additions? Let it rain on me.

Anyway, Yinghao drove the van out from YC, and I drove it back to YC. Somehow I just love driving in the rain… wahaha…

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On Saturday, I met Yinghao, Yaohua, Andy, and Kim Kiat at Bugis. We have got ‘illegal gathering’. Lol!

We went for PlayTest 2009.

Saw some incredible stuffs, but not much. Saw some phones, some laptops, some cameras. And I wonder, phones are fast becoming a crazy little machine.

Imagine, you can get instant updates once people start updating things on Facebook. You can know almost immediately when people update their status on Twitter. You get all your mails pushed to you.

Everything, and everything, in this small little thing we used to call a mobile phone.

Well, the good thing is, we will have information, regardless of where we are. The bad thing? High dependence. Information overload. Stalker-instints. Lol…

Imagine, you can almost immediately comment on someone’s status. Won’t that make you a perfect stalker?

And 1 more thing. What if one fine day, your phone decides to abandon you, and leaves for a next better person? In chinese, we call it ‘私奔’. In english, the word’s ‘elope’. Simply, in layman’s term, it’s known as ‘kena stolen’.

Then I think, you will be having fun changing all your passwords that you have so conveniently saved into your profile in the phone. Lol…

So much said, I think I will still give that a try. Wahaha!!!

What to do, a free HTC Touch2 just dropped from the sky for no apparent reason.

Yes. FREE.

What to do, they just happened to pick my name during the PlayTest lucky draw for the 2nd prize…

And Yaohua won a 3G router. 3rd prize.

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After PlayTest, we went over to Suntec. AFA ’09. Saw lots of 小弟弟s and 小妹妹s at level 3, trying (yes, trying.. LOL) to dress up like the characters in their favourite anime/manga. COSPLAY!!

Niceeee… then we went into the exhibition hall. Niceeeee…. Wahahha!

After that, we went over to Waraku for dinner! Crapped till 9+. Then home.

Photos are still in my DSLR. I am just plain lazy.

Just let me nua, ok?

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Sunday was an ok day. I woke up at 7am. I slept at 11.30pm last night. Duhz. Wanted to sleep more also cannot. Auto wake up.

But it’s good to wake up early. After washing up, I started on my “Kao Hou Yu Yun” marathon. I just had 8 more episodes.

Went for tennis. Crazy weather once again, but the rain stopped. Lol.

And then, back home, to finish up the last 2 episodes.

And, I have completed the drama series. Wow. 40 episodes. Lol!

Yay!!!

Nice show!!!

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I am thinking, good things are happening to me. Maybe something’s bad coming my way… Hmm..

Let’s go through what good things are there.

(1) I was hoping for no rain as I wanted to play tennis. In the end, no rain.

(2) I was thinking that I should get a new phone soon. In the end, I got a free one.

But, hope doesn’t always succeed. There’s 1 thing I hope, but I don’t get.

GF.

Wahhaa.. this 1, needs hope, time, fate, destiny, luck, and hardwork.

Hope alone, is never enough for this.

Sad.

No! I must not be greedy! I must stop demanding for more… I do not deserve such things.

Good karma? People just do not know how evil I am…

Oh man, they are flying off!!!

I sooooo wanna go overseas too… Lol… but this time, it’s none of my business, so, I shall have my holidays in SG.

By right, I should be in the US now… argghhh… ok I shall stop nagging about this…

Well, decided to go off early today!

Nowadays, I think that I am really doing very duhz things in office… So I decided to take a break from office environment. Better days ahead, I hope.

I was planning to leave early, and go for a short swim. The sky denied me. It was dark. Damn dark.

So dark, that I decided to go back home. Lol.

The night was filled with lightning and thunder all over the place. No, it did not really rain heavily, just drizzles here and there.

Aw…. I was expecting a heavy downpour.

Since it did not rain, I went into NTUC, and shopped like things were free. Wahaha! Actually not really la. Just bought tomorrow’s breakfast. And some snacks. And more snacks. Mostly for office. Heh.

And then, bought dinner. And then went into 7-eleven to get a drink.

Still, only slight drizzle.

Took 143 home.

Still, only slight drizzle.

Reached home.

Still, only slight drizzle.

Sianz.

I gave the rain a chance, but it refused to race with me. I won the race unchallenged.

…

It rained at 9pm.

…

Nowadays, I think that I have nothing much to update. There’s really nothing new to talk about.

I am really very very no-life kind of person. I don’t cheong, I don’t really drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t dance, I don’t really sing that well, I don’t really play musical instruments that well, I don’t really write good lyrics, and I don’t have a gf.

Sometimes, looking back, it’s just a failure.

Suddenly, a thought came in: Have you ever said something that has been ignored completely by a person A, while the very same sentence, when said by a different person B, actually made person A happy?

It did happen to me.

Not today. It was some time ago.

I will not forget that.

It’s back to the same thing.

No one’s listening to u, Lk. You are really on your own. There’s no one to help you. There’s no one offering any help. You cannot rely on people.

You are on your own.

And I absolutely HATE to be on my own.

……………………………………………………………

Maybe, an interesting thing would be Friday’s Sentosa Outing. We had fun. In the rain. Lol. Played volleyball, frisbee, and captain’s ball, minus the  chairs.

Yes, all in the rain. The misty, sometimes pouring, sometimes drizzling, rain. It was cooling. Real cooling.

During the captain’s ball game, we were somehow divided into the sub-category: bball players vs soccer players. Lol! It was interesting to see the difference between soccer players and bball players regarding the ways they handled the ball.

And then, we had dinner at Modesto’s. Vivocity. We had a total of 16 people! Ate pasta, pizza, and strange little food here and there… Lol

And yes, had red wine. Lol! Yummyyy…

After that, we went over to some open space to try out a game. A game where there is a moderator, who chooses a random number of people to be bad guys, and the rest of the people good guys. Then the people will start to talk and try to find the bad guys, and kill them all off. The game ends when either only bad guys or good guys remain.

Interesting.. ba… But we were too tired to play. Lol!!!

Pictures? I did not have a camera with me.

Maybe that’s why I have nothing much to update. Words are just… boring…

……………………………………………………………

Maybe, tennis on Saturday would be something interesting. Played with Hua Hui, at 10am. And then, it began to drizzle a bit at around 1145am, and we decided to stop for the day. Went home to stone after that.

And the weather’s so good at 3pm.

And I think the weather is really making fun of me. I decided to stay at home and nua, and the sun’s out the whole day, on Sunday!!!

But nevermind, I am just 8 more episodes away to the end of the drama that I am currenlty watching.

……………………………………………………………

Maybe, Monday would be more interesting. Met Mingpo at Somerset. The money exchange that he wanted to go to was closed. So we ended up walking to Ion Orchard on my suggestion.

My plan was to pay Watami a visit. I walked past that restaurant a few weeks back, and I somehow feel that I should eat at that place soon.

And I think that was not a bad choice. The food’s not too expensive, and it’s quite nice actually. I had some cold noodles, which somehow reminded me of the one I had while in Honolulu. But this one tasted even better. It’s seafood! Lol! Mingpo had miso ramen. We also ordered some cheese rice cake thingy and the hotate thingy..

Ok, here’s the names of the food we ordered:

• Kani & Hotate Cream Croquette
• Mochi Cheese Gratin
• Sapporo Miso Ramen
• Kaisen Hiyashi Ramen
• Green Tea Ice Shake
• Cookie & Ice-cream

oOOooo…

That green tea ice shake reminds me of that strange dango that I have tried a few weeks back. Just that this green tea is sweet, with a milky taste. That green tea powder-coated dango was… erm… bitter.

……………………………………………………………

And I think I saw Kelvin Chen and Xiuli at Ion just now… lol…

……………………………………………………………

And a taxi stand that’s so full of taxis: Lucky Plaza. The taxi queue is long!!!!

And I mean, the taxi queue. Not the people queuing up for the taxi. lol!

……………………………………………………………

Sian hor, just anyhow write also more than 700 words here… Duhz.

Ok. Sleep.

Sometimes, when I look at things, I tend to see far.

Even at work, I may seem very busy with something that I am doing, but then, I still know what is happening around me.

Sometimes, that may be a good thing. Sometimes, I hope I don’t have that kind of ability.

It’s good when I know what’s happening around me. I can know things that I don’t usually know. It’s bad when I know what’s happening around me, but I am not really in the loop.

Usually, I will get quite upset when it is the latter. I am relatively neutral to the former.

Good and bad.

Choose.

Maybe, I must learn to TUNE OFF sometimes.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Sometimes, when people tell me secrets, they can be assured that they are safe.

Relatively safe.

Sorry, you can’t get anything out from here.

Lol!

Sometimes, when I tell people my secrets, they must be someone of high importance to me.

And I trust that they will keep things secret.

Lol!

这是一个不能说的秘密。。。

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Sometimes, it’s so fun thinking of the past. Sometimes, it’s so sad too. So many things done. So many things not done. So many things hit. So many things missed.

It’s a kind of like a  韭菜肉包…. MIXED FILLING (FEELING) ar!

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Are you bored reading this?

I am bored writing this also.

Maybe we should stop here.

Good night.

An interesting thought. At least for me.

When I hope that somebody will get a particular thing that he/she wants, 90% of the time, he/she will get it.

When I hope that I will get a particular thing that I want, 90% of the time, I will not get it.

Now, I really wondered, what bad deeds have I done in my past life. Lol!

………………………………………………………………..

Today was an OK day. I spent most of my time, working on my part-time stuff (a.k.a. programming).

We went to AMK Hub for lunch. New York New York. Nice, but quite expensive food.

I stayed in office till 9pm with Calvin.

I had Nissin Spicy Seafood Cup Noodles and some biscuits for dinner.

I gave swimming a miss.

………………………………………………………………..

I have a target to meet.

I want to cut down my weight.

How about, 80kg? Or less? Lol!

………………………………………………………………..

Was reading “Have a Little Faith” by Mitch Albom. So far, I still do not know what I am reading.

Duhz.

Today, we had a ‘blood type’ conversation.

Again.

Blood type O can give his/her blood to all blood types. A universal donor.

Blood type O can only get back the same blood type.

What do the above 2 things mean, in everyday life?

(1) Blood type O people are often being exploited and being squeezed like sugar cane.

(2) Blood type O can only gain back things from people of the same blood group.

(3) Blood type O are givers.

Alright.

But that does not mean that I, a blood type O person, is a multitasking warrior ok.

I am human.

People who make use of me, often got away, because I allowed them to.

People who make fun of me, often got away, because I don’t mind.

People who manage to piss me off, INSTANT DEATH.

Lol…

…………………………………………………………………………

When I have a very chim thing to think about, I will often close my eyes, and stone. Like the previous problems stated in yesterday’s post, when I encountered such problems, my very first non-cognitive reaction was confrontation.

“Why? Am I talking to a wall?”

“Why? Am I not part of the group?”

But no, I will just close my eyes, and think.

And the outcome is often the same: I shoulder the blame.

“Yes, I am insignificant for you to even look at.”

“Yes, the group will be better off without me around.”

…………………………………………………………………………

I guess, I just have to get used to things. As usual.

Not again.

And yes, O blood type can handle more stress.

Including emotional stress, I hope.

Strange.

It’s happened. TWICE.

The first time was during tennis on Sunday. I was getting out of the toilet after washing up. It rained. I took out my windbreaker. The rain died.

The second time was today, during my swim. I was in the pool. It started to drizzle. After I finished my swim and was getting out of the shower room, the rain got heavier. Again, I took out my windbreaker. The rain died.

Why is that happening? Can’t I have some moment in the rain? Like before?

If even Heaven has stopped crying for me, it has to be a big problem.

What have I done wrong this time??? Hello? Any advice?

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Have you ever tried talking to someone, that, for one reason or another, does not look at you?

I did.

It’s a terrible thing.

And the more terrible thing is that, the person has no problem looking at other people while talking to them.

It’s a damn terrible thing.

Am I that scary?

It can’t be that I have red eyes. It can’t be that I am too handsome, with mesmerising eyes, etc…

It may be possible that I am too painful for the eyes. I make the eyes sore.

Now, again, what have I done wrong this time??? Hello? Any advice?

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Have you ever walked back into a place, and realised that everyone’s disappeared without telling you anything?

I did.

It’s a terrible thing too.

There must be some problems with me.

I really have no idea, what have I done wrong this time??? Hello? Any advice?

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Is my life so full of wrongs?