Belief@HazelCafe

Too tired to put a sad face, so I use ^_^

I have to say a few things tonight.

(1) I am not a genius. I am not a smart guy. Please treat me like a normal human. I want discussions about problems, and not being an answering machine. One of the reasons why I want to study in groups. Can discuss. Discuss online? Can be done, but inefficient. Over phone? Can also, but the best is still face to face discussions.

(2) I am not a nosey parker. You are free to answer my queries, and you are free to remain silent. I understand people have the right to privacy. I can keep secrets, sure enough. If some things are not meant for me to know, tell me, and I shall forget about them.

(3) I am beat-about-the-bush-intolerant. Have something to say to me? Don't hesitate. Say it out. Good or bad, I don't care. Hesitation makes me irritated, and I might just do something nasty in return. Don't blame me for that if that ever happens. Of course, to maintain that previous point, if that something is really not for me, I will not persuit further.

(4) I am quite sensitive to the surroundings. I can sense things sometimes, but not everytime. If I have done something which I shouldn't have, tell me. Don't just keep quiet. This links to the first point.

(5) I tend to be helpful, but please do help yourselves too. I cannot pull someone out of a black hole when that person is pulling on something that is being pulled into the hole too. If we both are sucked into the black hole together, never mind. That just means that I am as blur as you. We will then think of some ways to get out together. I am not a pirate. No rule states that anyone that falls behind, gets left behind.

(6) Sometimes I tend to ignore people, but that does not mean that I do not know they are around. As I have said in (4), I know. Sometimes people tend to ignore me, but I don't blame them. It's normal. At least for me. Used to it.

I think 6 is enough. Take it as midnight crap if you like.

Aww… can't believe that I have typed them out… I must be really free, or really sad, or really happy. I don't know what's my mood now. I think it's frozen and kept in liquid nitrogen at some negative temperature range.

Sometimes, I think, in terms of friendship, it's not the duration that matters. It's the amount of time spent together, and the amount of things people go through together. You could have known a friend for 10 years, but you might not even know anything more than what another person who has spent just 1 month working together with him/her. Friend? Yeah friend. Just friend.

Having to write such a heavy piece of blog gives me an headache… it always does…

CS1101C over. Don't care. As usual. Why care? It's over. Looking back will just slow me down. I will look back if they tell me to 打包. I wonder if they will charge extra 20 cents for a plastic container… aw… crap!

Suddenly addicted to this song: Quite nice, quite sad. Imagine while doing the programming paper, instead of looping through the code, I was looping through the chorus of the song…
止战之殇

词:方文山 曲:周杰伦
光 轻如纸张 光 散落地方 光 在掌声渐息中他慌忙
他在传唱 不堪的伤脚本在台上 演出最后一场
而全村人们在座位上 静静的看时间如何遗弃这剧场
战火弄脏他的泪光 谁在风中 吵着吃糖这故事一开始的镜头灰尘就已经遮蔽了阳光

***
恐惧刻在孩子们脸上麦田已倒像战车经过的方向
蒲公英的形状在飘散 它绝望 的飞翔
她只唱只想这首止战 之殇

恶夜燃烛光 天破息战乱 殇歌传千里 家乡平饥荒
天真在这条路上 跌跌撞撞 他被芒草割伤

孩子们眼中的希望 是什么形状 是否醒来有麦当劳早餐 再喝碗浓汤
农夫被烧毁土地跟村庄终于拿起枪 他却慢慢习惯放弃了抵抗
孩子们眼中的希望 是什么形状 是否院子有秋千可以荡 口袋里有糖
刺刀的光被仇恨所擦亮在远方野蛮 而他却笑着不知道慌张

Ok, another file being thrown into one corner. Next.

Sometimes, I really wonder why am I online. To talk? To disturb people? To discuss? To wait for people to disturb me? Or just to tell people 'hey I am online'?

Maybe… hmm.. never mind… settle this problem after 29 November.

while (others are busy studying) {
clean up the room;
clear the rubbish;
sort out the papers;
}

Haha… one of the typical doing-funny-things-during-exams stunts…

Actually started on EE (finally). Did the 1st additional question set. Quite fun. So far so good, of course. That's only the first part!

Tomorrow's CS1101C at 9! Oh man what mad question will be given to us? No matter what… just try my best, and leave everything else to moderations… oh man.. bad thinking… *switch frequency*

Programming means… time to sleep early tonight…

Alright! Today’s Physics CMI! Die! Mati! ???? ????! sterben! pour mourir!

Don’t care. It’s over. Next! Lol…

I think I better start a bit on Electrical later… It just feel strange, touching on all other subjects, except this one! And spending the most time on Physics! Shucks… (sounds familiar… hmm…)

Studied (attempted to) in school just now. Today was the latest! Left at around 10.30pm! Was discussing about programming with Xinli, who came at 8. Emmanuel, his Ben, and Joan all went off by 6. Didn’t know Weimin was in hall! Sheesh!!! (sounds familiar again… hmm…) The other muggers went off at 7.30pm, and I was so glad that they left, so that I can on the network TV…

Ok, I think I am going to stay at home later. No school. No, I think. I shall hide in my bedroom. I shall tie a red ribbon on my forehead. I shall tie a string to my hair, and tie the other end to the ceiling. I shall drink 10 cups of coffee per day. What rubbish!!! (sounds familiar… hmm…) Maybe go over to Creative Resource for a walk… Take a break… Anyway, I am always finding reasons to take breaks now and then…

I should start planning what to do for December! It’s gonna be real fast. December, and January! And February!!! 22… ???. Zwanzig zwei.. But then… everyone’s giving angbaos on a birthday, isn’t that a great idea… Something good about being an Aquarius…

Today's LSM was 80% ok! At least I think I can pass with that paper… Well, they always moderate the marks, so, if everyone does well, the marks will go doooooown… so why bother…

Tomorrow's Physics, and I am like 50% ready for it. Some things just refuse to go into the head. Too bad then. See what will happen tomorrow. I might just come up with a new theory.

Was looping through all the blogs, and came across this thing at Xinli's blog:

Aquarius – Your Love Profile Your positive traits: You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people. You're great at thinking up new things and actitives to do with your sweetie. You tend to let the little things slide in relationships… and focus on the bigger picture. Your negative traits: In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway. You can never open up completely to someone – you have to keep parts of yourself secret. You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved. Your ideal partner: Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise! Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests… including you. A true indivdualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks Your dating style: Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest – like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert. Your seduction style: Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next. Insatiable – it takes a lot to satisfy your desires. Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them. Tips for the future: Bring a little responsibility to your relationship – like showing up for dates! Compromise a little. It would kill you to do things your lover's way for once. Be aware of your parnter's jealousy. Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes. Best place to meet someone online: Match.com – there's enough singles to find offbeat dates and tons of romantic adventure Best color to attract mate: Sky blue Best day for a date: Wednesday Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

And after reading that, I decided to try this:

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life – a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

Ok, got to carry on my Physics before I think of more theories…

Well, the weather's damn good today. Lots of sunshine, and no rain! All these when I am not studying in an air-con environment! Hmph…

Have been looking at microbes, microbes, and more microbes today! Gram positive, gram negative, acidfast, fungi, parasites, virus, vaccination, industrial exploits, beer brewing, bread making, tempeh making, soy sauce, water purification systems, woah…

I can only remember around 3/5 of all those… The others? On the spot think… the answers will come out… hopefully.

Ok.. I guess I will be studying in school tomorrow. Don't feeling like going home just after the paper, which is supposed to end at 11. Which corner to hide? First thing first: can I find any corner in the first place? Hopefully yes, or else, I might just take a bus and get out of NUS…

The Exam mood's here! Yay!!! I am a siao person. Being happy when the rest of the people are soooo anxious about it…

10 more days to K-Box! 10 more days to BBall! 10 more days to swimming pool!!! 10 more days, and I will be free to do whatever I want! Settle debts (treats that I owe people), collect debts (money people owe me), and try to find back my long-lost BMT PICS!!!! Don't know which bunk mate idiot took them and never return. Might be LOST!!!

Decided against going to school to study today. No one around! All mugging at home, in halls, or elsewhere… anywhere but Engin. So I stayed at home, attempting to study without much progress.

I said before: I can't really study alone.

Decided to watch Wishing Stairs this afternoon while having lunch. Found some udon noodles, and a packet of instant miso soup. Tasted not that nice today. Perhaps due to the egg I added into the noodles' soup. Ew…

Yes! Finally managed to activate my Office software on my laptop! Spent quite a while talking to a machine before I was redirected to a customer service officer. Talked to her about my problem, and she understood immediately. Got the confirmation ID in around 5 minutes. Yes it worked! So happy…

It seemed that I did owe the grass cutters some things. Yesterday, they were happily cutting away the grass at NUS, and today, they were again happily cutting away at the park downstairs! It was so loud that I decided to close my windows and blast my sound system away.. Not blast as in very loud, but loud enough to fill my room with S.H.E's songs from the new album…

I don't know, but my mood's going down. No, nothing to do with exams. For some reasons, some things irritate me. Attitudes, reactions, whatever. Why am I doing this? Why?

Somehow, some things tend to suggest that I am an answering machine… I AM NOT! It's not about answering machines… argh…

I like discussions. Discuss and confuse other people. And confuse myself too in the process. Let's be confused together. If everyone's confused, then surely there are people out that who are more confused than us, and some other people who are more confused then the confused…

Never mind… This is getting more and more confusing…

Song? Instrumental!

I gonna complete everything today! All the WebAssign! So far, only got 1 question I don’t know what went wrong, but I will go disect it, cut it into pieces, and find the error!

Currently at this little table at 1 corner. Only Yingzi left. Visitors include Emmanuel and Chun Jian. I was wondering who lent that VCD to Emmanuel… Lol… hmm… He was sleeping here just now. Chun Jian and his whole bad of chocolates… choco siao…

So far so good for Physics. Hopefully.

Next is LSM. Tomorrow will be a LSM cum Maths day. I have to settle Maths tutorials 8 to 11, which are from Part 3. Don’t know what they are trying to say, which is bad…

Did a little test from a website, and it says my IQ is 115.. hmm… Here's the link:http://www.iqtest.dk/main.swf. Does it matter? Hmm…

Alright, for people who are damn stressed… go here! http://www.goofyfun.com/1/catnip.htm. On your speakers!

Had a short run just now. Nothing much.

Really.

It's Monday. 4 more days to the start of the Test…

I tell you. I am ready, and I am not ready. I am ready to accept what I will be getting. I am not ready to be tested. And no, I am not giving myself more pressure than intended. I try not to. I believe I can, but it's not up to me to decide.

We shall see…