Belief@HazelCafe

Alright, currently in one of the classrooms in E3, trying to figure out what to do with my lost 'memories'… Kind of sad, losing the exact words, but nevertheless, I shall try to recall…

Why I Remember Things

I guess this was the first thing that was missing. Basically, I don't remember everything. I choose to remember things that I consider as important. Even if I cannot remember the whole thing, I will tend to remember parts of it.

By listing out the reasons:
(1) I am affected (directly or indirectly. It doesn't matter)
(2) It attracts/appeal to me. It just grabs my attention away.
(3) The people related to it (as in, families, relatives, people I like?).

And of course, some things are just engraved deep into my brain that, no matter how hard I try to forget, they will still be there. I guess, there are too many to be listed, so I had skipped that part last time, and I will do like-wise this time also.

After that entry, something went wrong, and I decided (finally) to use 我爱的人 by 陈小春 as my background song. Then I paste the lyrics here…

我爱的人

唱：陈小春
词：施人诚
曲：周杰伦

我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了她的人生
成家立业之类的等等

她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人 不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸 都属于另一个人
她真幸福 幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨 她的爱怎么那么深
我的爱人 她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神 说明了我不可能
每当听见 她或他说”我们”
就像听见爱情 永恒的嘲笑声

After that entry, I decided to remove that song the next day. Be happy! Haha…

Any more missing entries? Well, forget about the rest… I don't think there are any more? Ok, back to the present.

I have downloaded MSN 7! It has been released officially! And people can now see what songs I am currently listening to! It sure eats up more RAM, but I guess my laptop can take it.

Nowadays, I find myself using more laptop than desktop. One of the possible reasons is that there is a problem with my internet explorer on desktop. Pop up windows don't pop up when I want them to do so! As a result, I cannot access anything IVLE-related from there! Another one is that, it has gone terribly slow. Too much junk in it I guess. I am going to clear everything and install a fresh new copy of programs into it, probably after the exams. I am backing up all my precious MP3s… So many! But most are from CDs that I have bought over the few years. Didn't realise that, actually I  have that many CDs… Hmm…

Oh, the Genki sushi photos! Will put them up soon… I have other things to settle first. Hmm… back to my work…

[06/04/2005 1.00pm]
Alright. This is a true statement:
I do not like my CS1102C Mid Term test result.

I think, I will just take it as, I am unlucky. So unlucky that I managed to get that kind of marks… Or that I am tired… Or that I am half dead…

Maybe, I shall stop deceiving myself. Ok. I am bad at tests.

While trying to write something, somehow, there's something wrong with the server, and I had to use notepad to type it out first. Finished up that packet of M&Ms that have been in my bag since Monday evening, with some help, of course. Let me go back to Maths.

Ok, missing entries after the restoration of the databases caused me to lose some entries. One was regarding why I tend to remember things, and the others were some crap I guess…. I will take back all those…. I mean restore them.. from memory…

If the diaries database is gone, I don't know what to say. 550 of mine, 430 of another, and a few more here and there… But then, if it's really gone, I have a backup dated 18 March… duhz

I wonder why, but does this have to happen once every year? Last year was a CMI webhosting company. At least this one's fast…

Forced myself to wake up at 6.05am this morning! I was so sleepy… Decided to change to 188 to reach school in the shortest time possible so that I can resume my sleep. Luck’s not on my side. It must be an April Fool’s joke on me. I missed the earlier 188, and I waited a long long time for the next bus! In the end, I reached school, but later than the 183 I normally took. Oh well…

After the lectures, I decided to stay back and do some Maths. At least something was done during the peaceful moments of the area outside LT6. I got out of that place at around 2.30pm. CJ had gone to club room. Ben was having his presentation. Edwin was going to attend the MNO lecture. The rest? Who knows…

On my way to Suntec, on the train, I could hear 2 girls discussing that Group A Maths lecture! What a famous episode in NUS… Everyone’s mad about it! Well, someone told me that the video’s been cut… Aww…

The purpose of going to Suntec was to collect a shopping voucher from Carrefour. Yeah. Collected. And I went on a siao shopping trip that cost me over $50 just at Carrefour. Bought a bag, that’s why.

After shopping, I walked down to the Fountain of Wealth. Somehow, I had been walking in circles. I went down from somewhere near Anderson’s IceCream, and ended up back at Carrefour! And I had to walk all the way back again! I almost fell asleep… leg pain.. don’t know why. Did not take any photos at the fountain though… Don’t ask me why…

Walked all the way to Esplanade. Revisiting it, this time armed with my Caplio R1!

Just some pics taken, resized to fit (and to reduce file size). It’s so cooling there! Felt like sleeping… It’s a nice place to relax… Felt great just sitting there, enjoying the breeze… *yawns*

Oh yeah, about why I remember things… I shall explain that in my next entry… tomorrow ba..

Ok, I shall be a good guy today… *evil grin*

Oh yeah happy bday to that April fool girl by the name of April… duhz sounds strange…

Cold foyer!!! zzz

So far, so true.

Whenever I am looking for someone to ask about something, that someone will not be around. Whenever I need help, where is it?

No, I don't need any help now. I guess, I can survive on my own.

Being an only child doesn't help much either. Sometimes, I hear people saying that they hate their brothers and sisters. How sad can that be? Having peers to go through thick and thin together, and yet, do not know how to appreciate it.

Well, I hate being an only child. Everything's on my own, on my own! Buy my own food, cook my own creation, fix my own computer, go out on my own and do my own homework! Friends? They can only help this much…. can you see it? Maybe, you need a microscope.

I really envy those who have siblings. No, I am not blaming my parents for not granting me any siblings. It's just too bad, and I just have to live with it. No, not their fault at all.

How nice will it be, if I had a younger sister? Even though I have one sis now, well, it's different.

If I have a younger sister… I guess, my life will be very different.

So those out there who hate their siblings, please think twice.

I am digressing … oh no..

Maybe, I shall visit Fujitsu next week. I want to get that loox fixed.

Now, where shall I go later? When I start to buy things like there's no tomorrow, hopefully, I will feel better after that. Just now was the beginning. I bought 2 files, 2 mechanical pencils, 2 card holders. What will I buy later?

What do I want? What can I have? What will be mine? I don't know.

Happy P-Plate-Free Day… not in any mood to make any big fuss about it. So what if I had my license 1 year ago?

Went to YIH just now to bind the MNO report, and ?? collected the mug. Looks nice!

Ok, handed in the MNO report and also the final draft of CTW PP!

Freed! Phew…

While preparing for this, I slept at 2 plus, and woke up at 6. Felt like I was doing guard duty, but without the sianness…  went to crash Xinli’s tutorials.. haha.. finally got to understand more of Maths and especially Physics! I love Mr Ng WS and Mr Sum TC! Hahaha!

Why there seems to be a lot of people in the library.. hmm… I want to sleep le… no maybe I can’t… I have maths to do.

Why my loox cannot power up??!! Grrrrr… A visit to the Fujitsu Care Centre soon for me…

Ok, sis said advertise for her, so here is it. Go find out how much you know about her! http://www03.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050330231237-199100&email=&c=&a=01. Throw a dice where nesessary… Oh.. forgot to mention:
sis == joan. Haha

In about 60 hours more, I will be 'celebrating' my 1 year anniversary with my class 3 license. How great can that be? P-plate-free, but where's the car? Hmm…

That day is also quite important. It marks the end of this semester's projects! That, is a great reason. No more discussions, no more extra time spent! And I can dive into my 'recovery' mode, to save all my grades. It's going to be hard, but then, I have no choice.

I have a cap to fight for. At least, maintain it. Frankly, I am not really pleased with the cap I've got for sem 1. It's bad. I want a better cap! Dream on maybe…

Ok, maybe I need a plan after exams. Hopefully, I can find a job, and try not to think too much. Or, if I have the ability, to take a trip overseas. And of course, go try to restore my health and fitness level. 2, 3 months isn't that long. Myabe, I will be able to forget something.

What a big, fat, hope…

Some things are just engraved in my mind. They cannot be removed easily. It cannot be painted over, as once the paint drops off, the engraving will still be there. I need the original things that got removed during the engraving process.

And why is that Emmanuel trying to psycho me on MSN to go after girl(s)??!!! I stop here first. I go kill him first… in game, of course.

Watched that MA1506 Webcast just now. Wow… a guy just declared his love for a girl during lecture! It happened during the Group A Lecture this afternoon! Wow…

That guy, I don't know who is he. He requested for the lecturer to flash a special message, which he did. Yeah, I love sporting lecturers! Heh.. The webcam actually zoomed in on them. He gave her flowers. She accepted (maybe, not much of a choice?). And then, it's break them for the lecture group. Did not get much detail out of the webcast after that, except that the guy sat beside her, and I think they did talk. The girl looked a bit shocked, even from behind. And there's a lightbulb on her right? Well… after a while, the guy stood up, and left. I wondered if he had got her? Or, maybe, she said something? Who knows. Only the lightbulb has the full story…

If that guy was me… would I have done that? Would I have done a better job, or worse? Haha… Well…. *looks at the ceiling*

Recently, we had our C++ lecturer singing a programming song that he wrote according to the tunes of “Top of the World”, and now, this kind of interesting happenings in a Maths lecture. I think we can expect more in the future.

That reminds me of a scene in “My Sassy Girl”, where the girl played Cannon in D on the piano, and the guy walked down the lecture theatre with a red rose. oOOooo…

Well, let's see if there's more of such things happening around NUS! Maybe, someone plays a guitar and sings for he/her loved ones, or maybe, something even more shocking… It's great to have these kinds of interesting happenings! Not everyday, maybe…

Alright, tomorrow's Tuesday. Another day. I haven't decide on what time to leave for school. I shall see how. Who knows, I might decide to stay at home? Hmm…

Something out of point here. I always believe in this. Don't say cannot, until it's been confirmed. You never know what's at the end.

Maybe, that is how I survived… through anger, sadness, disappointments, pain, sweat…

I have been writing quite a lot of crap recently I think. Well, maybe they are not crap afterall?

Why I will not be very happy on Monday? If only I have the answer…

Maybe I do have the answer…

It's just me.

With labs completed, the world will be a better place to live in. Hopefully.

But, problems won't stop coming just because labs have been completed! Problems, questions, aims, thoughts, doings, procedures, beliefs, perceptions, whatever.

There's no bball today! I had slacked my whole afternoon away once again! I had wanted to go out initially, but, too bad, it rained. I have been in my room for quite some time, burning CDs, clearing my papers, listening to MP3s, creating some havoc here and there. That's all.

Talking about overseas, it just brought back that NS days. I was so close. 1 month away from Australia, when they decided to cancel the trip. How I longed to be out of Singapore, to explore, to discover. Although the purpose of the trip would be for exercise purposes, I wouldn't have minded. It's not in Singapore. That's the main point.

I did managed get out of Singapore. To Genting. What a nice place. Now, armed with a digital camera, I hoped to make a trip there once again, to take all those pictures that I have missed. To capture whatever I can. To enjoy more.

And now, with budget airlines all around, I think the chances of getting out of Singapore will be greater. But then, still, the problem lies with the dollar sign. Where to get the money? I can't go and steal right? And money don't really drop from the sky, right? I took up some projects on the way, but are all free labour ones. Maybe I should be certified and become a qualified personnel, then I can start to count the money. But then, getting the certification means putting money into a deep hole where you cannot hear the echo…

Just like university education.

I guess, I can't do anything much about that. What to do? No money? Eat grass. At least it provides fibre…

Updates regarding Saturday. I was in school from 11am till 8.30pm! Had almost finished that MNO report. So happy. Finally, one down! Yeah! But, I don't know. Hopefully we will be able to get good grades… We ended at 5pm! And then, I was back in block EA, trying to psycho some people to go home.

I was quite surprised that I actually stayed up till almost 4am to do that lab! Maybe it's because of what I have said earlier: I shall complete it. And I did! It's bad to do late programming, as you have to keep your brain active, and having done that, you cannot sleep! I spent some time looking at the ceiling… I slept till 9.45am, after being waken up by my alarm, and later, by my dad… zzz… I want my sleep…

Bye Ikea sale. Bye Creativex. Bye everything…