Belief@HazelCafe

Played badminton in school with Ben, Weimin, Emmanuel, Junrong, Xinli and Joan. 7 people. Time passed quickly. Not enough playing. I want more.

I reached the bus stop at around 11.40am. So early. And so, I decided to stone there for a while. The air was cooling actually. I watched the buses zoom past, and then, I decided it’s time to stop stoning, because, nothing is going to happen if I just sit there.

Which turned out to be a correct decision.

And why am I playing as if I am in some crapp competition? Answer: I just wanted to see where’s my limit. And my left hand was listening to me quite well today. 叔叔有练过的。。。

7 people. played 4 and 3 on each court. And I was on the 3 side. And standing alone on one side. But it’s good. I got to whack the shuttlecock twice as often. Kill them all! With my fury! Waahahaa Lk fury is dangerous. It can kill…

And after that, Ben went off for who-knows-what, and Xinli went for her dental. And we did not seem to agree on what to do, and Junrong and I did not want to eat, and hence, there’s no further outing. I was not waiting for anything to happen anway, so, it’s free and easy.

So free, and so easy, that I decided to leave my destination to luck once again. 963 came shortly after I had reached the bus stop.

Had a good sleep on the bus. When it reached Woodlands, it was already 3.45pm. Walked around here and there, with nothing much in mind. Wanted to buy duck rice, but it was not open today. Wanted to buy this and that, but I rather not. Went into Popular and bought some stuffs, went down to Cold Storage and got some yummys, and back home on MRT.

The MRT was so empty, and I took out my phone and played with SMSes… *yawns* The journey was short, but Angela was singing “it’s a long, long journey…. …” on my m:robe…

It’s indeed a long, long journey.

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don’t even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can’t see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?

Journey

曲：Corrinne May | 词：Corrinne May | 编：
It’s a long long journey
Till I know whera I’m supposed to be
It’s a long long journey
And I don’t know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide

It’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I’ve spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what’s my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you’ll be standing by my side
It’s a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don’t even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can’t see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through
Cause It’s a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
It’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you to you

Now, I am hoping that, SMS errors do not come from my phone… I think I am eligible for upgrade since a few months ago, but then… Well… not now…

I shall wait… and wait… and wait… and sleep, and wake…

And tomorrow’s the start of Creative Fest… Hmmmm….

KBox Day! Yay! And so, I reached JE at around 10. Saw Ridha while I was walking towards the MRT station! I said ‘hello’ first! And he still remembered who am I! Yes!

1 more secondary school friend found once again. He used to be living in the same block as me, until he shifted house during secondary 2. I went to his new house before, and it’s nice! Lol… When he was living in the same block as me, I used to go to his house quite often. To do homework, to play, and to crapp.

And he had moved, and we contact each other less often…

But nevertheless, found him! And this was the second time! The first time was also somewhere around JE MRT station, he was going up, and I just came out of Popular… Lol…

And so we set off for Suntec. Reached around 11+. Junrong was already there as usual. He’s always early for everything. Hahaha… Good ar… And then, we 3 went in to sing first, and Joan and Jean came shortly after…

We sang, and sang, and sang, but time passed very quickly, and I wondered why. Soon, it’s over! Aww… not really enough singing. Not enough! Haha.. but never mind, I shall have more…

And this was our lunch: 8 pieces of sushi and 1 drink each. In the end, we ended up with Bukit Sushi!

See? We had so many leftovers! In the end, we ?? out of KBox!

Not that I did not want to eat sushi, but I just do not want seaweed to be stuck on my teeth, and rice to be stuck to my metal arch, and such. And therefore, I ate very, very carefully….. Wahahaha I love sushi, by the way, or else, I will not have learnt how to make them. Lol..

After singing, the J sisters went off, leaving Junrong, Xinli and me. We went to walk around, and after some reliable information from the J sisters, we found Ben and Jerry’s!!

Nice ice cream, sweet though. I mean the girls selling the ice cream too.. whaahaha.. duhz.. ok back to about ice cream. It’s the main topic. I forgot the flavours’ names already! But I hope I will get to try the other flavours next time!

Xinli wanted to take this “first” photo…

And then, I was “feeding” JR with ice cream….

And after that, we went over to Orchard for some shopping here and there. JR bought his comics. We settled Joan’s request to add things. And we also walk here and there! Hahaha…

Some passes quickly when you want it to be slow, and soon, it’s night. Time to go home…

More photos will be available when my photo section is up (soon). The photos are somehow ready, and not ready. Lol…

This is a summary, a very brief update for today. I skipped lots, so that I can go to sleep while it’s raining..

Nite nite…

I am still being DCed. It sux. Spoils everything else. And after adsl was online, the player was offline…

And I thought my HP’s not working. Maybe it really is not working. This is only my part of the story. Who knows. I will have to look at it as a 3rd party. Quite a biased 3rd party, in that sense. Never mind about that. Will elaborate another time.

I was so tired that I decided to sleep early. All that Latte’s fault. Peaceful sleep. No ringing of HP. Quiet night. Dreamless night.

That’s the power of sorting thoughts out. It is good to think… and think… think more and will get a PhD.. or become a monk.. Wahaha..

Suddenly back to David Tao days…

普通朋友
曲：David Tao | 词：David Tao | 编：

等待 我随时随地在等待
做你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问 这是爱

我猜 你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败
从天堂掉落到深渊 多无奈

我愿意改变 (what can I do?)
重新再来一遍 (just give me a chance)
我无法只是普通朋友
感情已那么深 叫我怎么能收手

但你说 I only want to be your friend 做个朋友
我在你心中只是just a friend 不是情人
我感激你对我这样的坦白 但我给你的爱暂时收不回来
So I 我不能只是be your friend
I just can’t be your friend

我猜 你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败
从天堂掉落到深渊 多无奈

我愿意改变 (what can I do?)
重新再来一遍 (just give me a chance)
我无法只是普通朋友
感情已那么深 叫我怎么能收手

但你说 I only want to be your friend 做个朋友
我在你心中只是just a friend 不是情人
我感激你对我这样的坦白 但我给你的爱暂时收不回来
So I 我不能只是be your friend
no, no, no

我不能只是做你的朋友 不能做普通朋友

Nice song… and lyrics too. And having pasted 2 lyrics here in a row, you should know what I am up to…

No… not sing these songs to people to tell them the story… It may be a possible way though…

Write lyrics la. Opps I haven’t got the time to go through jr’s words and tunes properly.. opps… sorry eh.. tonight… tonight! Lol…

Sometimes, I don’t understand some things at all. I don’t understand, and yet, I hop in and hope I understand. The understanding may be wrong, but… what to do, if the “dunno must ask” way fails, as in, what you asked is not what you are trying to know?

Haiz…

Rain… this place’s getting dirty. Help me clean it up ok… =)

[added 8.45am]
A stupid error in MySQL command, and I ended up updating ALL my comments in My Photos! Ahhh!!! Stupid! And I have not saved a backup of the database! Ahh!! Cannot restore!

What to do? Edit one by one again lor… haiz…

Alright. After thinking about yesterday, and with many other evidences and support, I have decided that, it doesn’t matter if I don’t get what I have been waiting for, or what I have wanted.

It’s a choice. Winning doesn’t mean anything to me. Whenever there is a rainbow, there is rain, and there is sunlight. Rainbow is the product. Rain and sunlight are the requirements.

And after watching some shows, dramas, etc, I guess, it is not too big a problem afterall.

I have been talking to Emmanuel regarding the various way to lose something. Losing due to some factor. I said that, I don’t mind losing, but definitely NOT to a certain method. People who know me well enough should know what is the method. I have been emphasizing on this method through lots of my previous posts. Sux! Pui! Lousy!

But what to do? Win means win. Lose means lose. Accept, and move on. There is no room for appeal. No “high court”.

Is Hope still around? I am just too afraid to hope any more. Yes, I have said that hope brings more disappointment. With great anticipation comes greater disappointment.

But anyway, if anything happens that goes on the negative side, everything should be the same, at least on my part. No change in ranking. No change in treatment. No change in everything. I won’t. =)

When this song was first played on 933 many years ago, I was thinking, what the hell is this song about? I guess, I did not know how to appreciate the details of the song then. This song is one of my favourites. Simple yet meaningful lyrics. Straight to the point. 80% k-box-able.

爱，很简单
曲：陶喆 | 词：娃娃 | 编：

忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你有一种感觉
忽然间发现自己
已深深爱上你 真的很简单

爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法抉择 wooo
没有后悔 为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我 喔～

I LOVE YOU 无法不爱你 BABY 说你也爱我
I LOVE YOU 永远不愿意 BABY 失去你

不可能更快乐
只要能在一起 做什么都可以
虽然世界变个不停
用最真诚的心 让爱变的简单

爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法抉择 wooo
没有后悔 为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我 喔～

I LOVE YOU 我一直在这里 一直在爱你
I LOVE YOU(oh yes I do)
永远都不放弃 这爱你的权利

如果你还有一些困惑 Oh No 请贴著我的心倾听
听我说著 爱你 yes I do

I LOVE YOU (oh yes I do) 我一直在这里 一直在爱你
I LOVE YOU
永远都不放弃 这爱你的权利

I won’t give this song a miss for any kbox session, unless, I am not in the mood to.

Guess what, I went to the West Coast market with my mom this morning! Ahhhh!!! She did not buy much though. I decided to steam a fish later! Just let me try it out. I have not been steaming fish for a loooong time.

Cooking mood? See how. Maybe not. I don’t want to be disappointed with my standard of cooking. That’s why I can walk into Giant yesterday and come out without buying any uncooked food.

When cooking, one has to believe. The food will be bad, if there’s no belief. Belief in Love. For the person you are cooking for, and for the food that you are trying to cook.

And thus, I will not be doing much stunts this semester break. No point. No Belief.

I will just stick to simple cooking, like steamed fish and such. These can go wrong too, but the probability is lower… haiz…

Watched a total of 12 episodes already! Fighting vampires already. And that 相爱，不如相知 phrase has already been said.

Actually the script’s quite meaningful. Look into details. Then I will see some part of me in there also. I am watching it again, because, I have it. Just watch lor. No harm. And it’s still so nice… Aw… Need to refresh my memory regarding some parts of the story also. *close eyes*

Great hot weather now. But my skin’s burning a bit. And thus, no pool activities today! Off!

Hmm… what else can I do then? Don’t know la. See how lor.

ok. Proven fact. 2 Latte too powerful. See? I am awake now.. 😛

Erm… maybe it's just me ba. Suddenly too excited. But then, caffeine IS a stimulant…. Well…

It really feels like doing guard duty, sleeping for 3 hours, or rather, disturbed 3 hours, and feeling very awake at 7. Why? Time to handle over duty to the RPs mah… and go back to bunk, have a nice bath, and go and sleep till late morning, and wake up for lunch…

I hope it will be a lovely day today! =) Smile!

Ahhh….

ELove server! You better ä¹–ä¹– and just be stable!

Ok, I shall go and try to sleep. 4 more hours. Wrong. 3 more hours to 7.

I am thinking… yes… I am thinking…

And I am not thinking too coherently. Which means, it’s time I rest…

Went to Night Safari on Monday evening with Xinli, Yingfong, and Ryan. It’s quite a last-minute thing for me, as I was asked at 6pm. I had nothing on, and so, I agreed.

Met them at West Mall at around 7, and we set off for Night Safari at Mandai. Took some pics here and there… “My Photos” are not ready, and so, be patient.

Ok, more about the Night Safari. Yeah. Lots of endangered species. Lots of interesting species too. Too bad that the camera was not able to capture most of them, and some were not seen. I think those people who work there will be experts at playing “Spot The Difference”.

The animal show was nice too. Perhaps, due to watching too much zoo and bird park shows, this was something fresh for a change. The animals, the people, and the snake. Wooo!!! Big Python. Lol…

Yes, the animals were nice to look at, but they were not really photogenic. Very dark, and no usage of flash when animals are around. Ok la. I have been so good that I have switched my mobile to silent mode.

I cannot say anything much without pictures to show, and so, I shall not say too much. Go and see it for yourselves…

Anyway, the opening time, I think, is too short. I need longer time to be with animals!!!

Overall, it’s a great trip! Thanks for asking me along, princess!

And after looking at my page layout, I suddenly remember this:

我抬头看着满天星~~~

So nice!! Starry starry night, painted my pallete blue and grey~

If only I have a tripod that can point the camera at the sky, and take a few shots. So nice!!!

Ahhh!!!! It just feels good to look at stars. They are like my friends, giving me energy, energy to move on, to overcome, to endure…

“想用两罐 latte 自我灌醉… 好让我能够轻松一点…”

Yes, I bought 2 Nescafe Latte from the 7-Eleven on my way home. Yummy. I have bought a sandwich too, but don’t know why, I just cannot bring myself to eat it. Things bothering me, that’s why.

And now, since I know the reason, or rather, I confirm it, it’s a good thing. Yay!

Yes, I’ve got enemy at the gates… Lol… And I like it very much!

You can say ????, but then, really, it’s good.

“Dunno must ask” is a good advice, and I think I will keep it. It’s good. Haha!

And no, I am not eating the sandwich. Too full already, from the 2 cans of coffee… And it’s 3am!

Anyway, went to swim on Monday morning with Jianliang. I swam 20 laps in 2 hours. Damn slack. Jianliang only swam 10. I think he sianz. He low la. Maybe, one fine day, I will be like him. But, I shall promise myself this: No “lower” than 1 week. 1 week is the maximum.

Easier said than done? Yeah…

After that, we went over to IMM (oh no… 4th time), and had LJS (heng, not BK) for lunch. After that, we went around looking at cameras, as he’s interested to get one for his trip to Taipei. So shiok, can go Taipei. I can only stay in SG… *sobz*

Told Eddy about a job ad. He called, and they said they want people to commit till February. And so, that’s out of the question. Too bad…

After that, we went into Giant for a bit of shopping. I bought this little sleeping bag, and somehow, mistakenly took the wrong one. In the end, I had to seek the customer service counter to change it, and they did! Yay! And I also bought this Supashake drink, that was introduced to me by Dennis while we sent Victor to AH, when he twisted too much during bball some months back… It’s a great drink. Very full. I have not finish it yet.

A few days back, I bought this Nescafe Mocha from 7-Eleven. Not bad. Not that sweet, somehow. I wonder why? Perhaps I have not drunk it for a long long time…

Oh well…

That’s all for now, I guess. =)

I shall just be myself. Me.

Yes, and I am forced to be offline. People sending me off. Red CArd! So sad…

Aiya crapp la…

Ok, it's Monday, 1.10am. Later will be a 10am swim, provided that the weather's fine.

It is understood that you don't want to become ??, and so, did not ask you along. Tell me if you decide to change your mind ok…

I also don't want to become black. I have used 1 semester to “tone down” my skin colour. And now, it's becoming black again.

Yingzi's going to see some doctor regarding something, and so, she's not free to swim once again. Oh well… So later, it's going to be Jianliang and me. Zhenyao has to give tuition till 11am, and he's going to be chaota by going to swim at 11+am.

I can feel the heat on my arms, due to bball session. The sun was so hot! And Victor find it shiok to play in such a hot sun. For me, not really. It just drains off my energy and accuracy and everything.

For me, I think it's alright to have a bit of tan. A healthy colour. Too white not nice. Too black also not good. Just nice. Just a bit. In a tropical country, being too white just seems weak I guess. Being too black, and you will find people talking to you in Malay and Tamil, and some in English until you reply them in Chinese.

There's once when I went downstairs to buy ice cream from a van. That uncle spoke to me in English, but I chose to reply back in Chinese. He apologised for thinking that I am Malay. But then, why apologise? I really looked like a Malay in the dark, nothing wrong with that. Even if he spoke to me in Malay, I might have answered him in Malay!

Simple Malay, that is.

Something like… “Satu sweet corn, dua durian, satu chocolate chip. Total ampat ringgit. Terima Kasih.”

It's more of a rojak between Malay and English, I think. Haha…

So far, no one has spoken to me in Tamil. That language, I will “har?” because I don't understand a single word! If I pro, I will be able to understand what my bosses were saying during NS days, and even communicate with them in that language…

And my camp mates will go… “Hanaa… Gek Pai la!!!”

Wahahahaa… we were still that crappy, even now.

I won't be finding much people talking to me in German, except for one. And there's one who has been constantly speaking in Japanese, and I don't seem to understand. Maybe, I should be a language siao this semester break, and start touching on those 2 books that I have. I purposely bought the ones with audio CDs, so that I can actually hear, instead of look.

And I wonder, where are those CDs??? OMG…

Been working on Project HS Photos for almost the whole day. I have tried out the uploading of the photos, and it worked perfectly, so far. Oh well, except for the uploading part, where the server tend to go timeout. Maybe, 1.6mb is too large a file to be uploaded safely using HTTP.

I shall put up 3 sections of the photos first, and start to create the part for people to view them. Slide show format. Slide show in my own way. Yes, ofcourse I can do it. No problem with that. I have quite a few options to do this. I shall choose the one I like most. Or rather, easier to implement.

Ok… That's all for now. I shall continue on the photos thing later.

I shall be good, and go to sleep now. Good night to you. And you, and you. *muack*

Madd… Crapp… Interesting eh… Lol…

Went to shoot some bball with Victor just now. Nothing much, except that, it's a really hot day, so hot that, I don't feel like playing bball. And thus, missing all the shots…

I think we talked more crap than shooting balls…

I was playing with my phone, writing out a sms message, and, after thinking for a while, pressed the cancel button. Well…

Maybe I should have? No, I don't think so… hahaa..

Maybe, it's time I add in another theory of mine? Lol… theories that only talk and talk, and no action. Wahahaa…

Yeah, it's the weather I guess…