Belief@HazelCafe

Went with mum to ???. And then went over to Junction in an attempt to find Lionel at Coffee Bean. I was so lucky, he was there!!! Lol… But there were quite a number of customers this afternoon, so we did not really talk much.

Yeah, that was a busy morning, and now, I have other things to do.

Received strange messages. Why?

Everyone's giving me some form of attitude nowadays without giving me a reason. I don't care. I am in ?? mode anyway. Even if it means losing friends, so be it. At least I know that, they don't give a damn to listen to my side of the story.

Who will care what kind of story I have? No one. Some will just ask, and while I am telling the story, they will cut me off, and find some other thing to talk about. So, do they have the complete story? No. Do they really know any part of the story? No. Do they really want to know? No. So why ask in the first place? Why show me attitude in the first place? Why bother?

Yes, am I pissed off. I have my rights to show my attitude also. ?????.

And I absolutely HATE liars!!!

Lots of photos!!!! I just connected my K750i to the computer, as I wanted to charge the battery, and so, I took out the pics while it is charging….

First of all, my guitar!!! Bought it from Davis Guitar at Peninsula Shopping Complex. Quite a cheap one, at $70, including the guitar bag, a chord book, and a A440 tuning fork. Ahhh… A 440. A4, 440Hz… wahahaha

It's a black guitar!!! Heehee…

And last week, I just got the Best Denki vouchers, and I went ahead and bought this washing machine.

Brand? LG… yeah… Life's Good… lol

And while I was walking along JE, somewhere near the NTUC, I saw this, and bought it.

“?????????????????????????…”

And on Friday afternoon, I went to the Raffles Museum of Biodiversity Research (RMBR) with Junrong to do our LSM assignment. Quite an interesting place. Although it's a small place, it has lots of specimens and information! See those pics…

While I was walking around in JP on Friday afternoon, I saw this milk. I remembered Xinli telling me about this, and so, I thought of giving it a try, and hey, it's good!! Yummy… Tasted abit like digestive biscuits dissolved in the milk… lol

Just came back from pool with Zhenyao around 1 hour ago. Been slacking since then. Well well… later shall be a tutorial day!!!! Pia!!!

Suddenly, a busy week is over!

Yes, for the past few days, I have been working on my major project. Worked on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… so busy. Worked in school till 11pm, just to get it working for the next day's presentation. So sleepy.

And of course, Tuesday's lab. An ok lab I think. That was the last lab for this semester. So great.

Thursday was really a relaxed day. I was just out to relax for a while after the day ended early, at around 3.30pm. But, where did I end up in? Home, where else? Went for a short jalan jalan around in JE, bought some things, and back home. So boring.

And I slept from 12 to 8 the next day. So fun. I did not want to wake up. It's been a long time. And then, I went to school at 11.

For the past few days, many things happened. I will elaborate next time.

I wondered if I did manage to make someone angry this afternoon? Opps… If I did, sorry I did not mean it that way. I mean the next one, not the next few ones. All I heard was the all-too-familiar sounds. I can hear… yes… I can…. and it hurts…

I am bad at communication. I agree. This was probably in my mind while I was walking around JP this afternoon. Took 198 from NUS, and ended up there, just because I was lazy to get off the bus at JE library.

Oh well, don't think you will see this anyway. Even if you do, it will probably make no sense, because I am bad at communication.

But then, be angry with me. It's normal. I don't mind too much. In fact, it's just my vision becoming true….

No no… no more visions…

I want the album!~~~~ Aw….

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Some things don't really drop from the sky… Haiz…

I was writing something in the morning, then suddenly, I realised that I was late for swim, and rushed off. I closed the browser!!! omg!!!

But roughly, I remembered what I was saying…

Have you ever asked people out, only to be rejected, and rejected, and rejected? I was discussing this with JR early in the morning, and I thought, hey, sounded familiar.

And then I thought of Jianliang. And then I looked at myself.

We are all the same.

Basically, it's always the same. Some people just have to shake their fingers and then people will follow them like dogs. Some people just do not have that kind of power. That kind of persuasive power. That kind of authority. That kind of luck.

That kind of chance.

Maybe.

I realised that I like to talk alot about chances. I think alot of things are based on chances. You won't know that you are good at cooking if you are not given a chance to step into the kitchen. You won't know that you are good at ball games if you have not received a soccer ball as a present. You won't know that you are good at managing people if you are not given the HR job.

You won't know. Until you are given a chance to find out.

People have told me that chances won't fall from the sky. One has to find his/her own chances. But, in order to find a chance, you need a chance to settle some other requirements before you can continue.

Everything will point to one single chance: a chance to live.

Yeah. Redrawn from VIP.

Dear Liang Kwang,

Best regards,
(Sender's Name)

—————————–
(Company Name and Address)

Went swimming with Zhenyao in the late morning. Nice swim non-stop, or rather, almost non-stop. Hot sun, cold water. Cool. Not too much people, just nice. And then, we went over to West Mall for lunch. After that, it's home for me.

Thinking whether to support Angela Chang's album.. Hmm…

Watched <<??>> just now. Hmm.. Yeah. Love doesn't mean possession. Hee… and then the favourite quote again.

???????

I just love my current mode. So happy.

With things out of my head, I can look at lectures fully. I can look at details.

No more worries.

I am actually starting to understand more things. And I am loving it.

Stay this way. For now. So that's how it feels, working without the need to worry about other things, other people. So that's why some people like to work alone, closing their doors to the outside world, and hiding in their holes.

I see. So I should just leave people alone when they do that. Or when I think they do that. I see.

Sometimes, I think, why do I have to agree so readily to other people? Why do I have to bare the consequences of agreeing? Why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to be so disappointed?

Why?

Usually, I won't be angry with others. I will just be very disappointed.

Go on, continue with whatever you are doing. I do not allow people to reverse the damages, even though on the surface, it looks as if I do. NO.

Moving into ?? mode…

I always forget my own lessons that were learnt the hard way: Never be too enthusiastic. Never be too eager. With great anticipation comes greater disappointment.

I always thought, there's always an exception.

Looks like, the exception refers to a throwing of an exception: error.

Never mind. I shall play my guitar. I shall play my keyboard. I shall put myself in music, and block out all reasons.

Who cares what I do.

Maybe I am ??. I am fine with that label. I rather not let people down.

But then, if one says that someone lets him/her down, why not look from another angle, and maybe he/she thinks the same way too? So what is let down? Who lets down who? Or what?

Who knows. It's just me.

Yes, bought a guitar last week. Been playing it once in a while. I have to get back my skills, but then, there was not much skill in the first place to recover. Went for dental, and then went over to FMTS House to collect my vouchers. Met Eddy at IMM, and went for lunch. Roller blades? No available size. Too bad. Ordered a washing machine, which will be delivered on Friday afternoon. Went home after that.

Today? Did a stupid lab. Did not manage to finish. Now, I lack a whole table of results. Story spinning time.

Tomorrow? Nothing special.

Thursday? Nothing special.

Friday? Nothing special.

Or rather, I am nothing special.

M:Robe down. Itchy-handed me went to pull out some things, and the cap had become loose. Looks like I will have to make a trip down to Clarke Quay area one fine day. Service Centre's there. Need to fix it. Soon.

Life without music on the bus is still bearable.

Played pool last night. And really, when you don't see someone, you will not see someone till you see him/her once, and that will start off a series of chance meetings… Yesterday night, I boarded 143 and saw Sheena. Win liao lor… lol.

And yes, last night's pool place was quite empty. Not much people. Zhenyao and I played till 1 plus. They had replaced the surface. Very smooth. And then, I bought a chicken roll, a can of pokka carrot fruit juice, and a soya bean milk home. Night snack.

And then, went for bball just now. Shiok weather for bball. Now, I am very tired. But I am still alive.

Yes. I am alive. I bring myself to life. And I think, it's about time that a vision should be fulfilled.

Maybe.

Loading ?? mode…

While searching for information on the web, using Yahoo!, the search engine returned me an exact match…

web.cz3.nus.edu.sg/~wangjs/GEM/tutorial8.pdf – 94k –

Exact match! That is the tutorial that I am trying to do!!! The ranking is 1!!!

Huat la…

Decided to give myself a further day off. Went for a swim at BB in the morning with Lijian. The sun was strong today! Burning. And shiok…

We went over to IMM after that. It seemed that I had nothing to buy today. So sianz… Nothing in mind actually, just wanted to walk around abit.

After that, went home. Stoned around. And till now… lol… watching tv…

Oh yes, Bio lecturer had changed. This current lecturer was very dramatic. He liked to bring all sorts of things to lecture! Last lecture, he brought in plants!! Wahsey…. and he wasted a packet of traditional herbs and a chicken drumstick while telling us about plants as medicine… wahsey…

And he said that flowers are reproductive organs. And with that, he took out a red rose, and blah blah blah about it. And he made a conclusion that, biologically speaking, if a guy gives a girl roses, it just means that the guy is giving the reproductive organ of the rose plant to the girl, and so, it means that the guy wanna have… blah blah with the girl…. wahahah! So funny!

Roses… reminded me of something else. During Mandy's weddings, there were red roses all around! That was what Yiling told me, as my eyes were usually covered by stamps over such details… Wow…

Yeah she was right somehow. I am not that attentive to details. Lol. I only start thinking after things have happened. But sometimes, I foresee that some things are going to happen. Lk Vision. Lol…

Maybe I should stop thinking of what is going to happen next. It's scary when it comes true…

Details… most of the time, girls are more detailed. They often see things that guys don't. Guys are more technical. They fix things when they go wrong. So if there's nothing wrong, guys tend to stay away. Heh… and so, when guys don't see anything wrong, they will not appear.

And anyway, back to the flowers topic… What do I want to say? Hmm… nothing ba…

I am just wondering, who will get to receive roses from me next?

1 thing for sure, I don't give out flowers to people who don't know how to appreciate nature's beauty. Why waste a flower on someone who will eventually throw the flowers down the rubbish chute once they have withered and died?

A flower is a life. Appreciate life. Appreciate beauty…

To me, does giving flowers mean anything? Maybe it did, but it does not. No more… As I said, everything is very clear. Once you understand the concepts, anything is possible. So the concepts must be very clear…

Things changes, as always. I change. Everyone changes.

Grow up.

Sometimes, people don't agree with my ideas. They don't like my ideas. They anti-me. And so, what to do? I can only hope that one day, maybe they will understand. Some things just cannot be seen when you are from another perspective. Some things will be clear, when you are in one's shoes.

I choose my own path. I choose my own route. Even to destruction. I have no regrets. Because it's chosen by me.

Grow up.