Belief@HazelCafe

Hmm.. will I have some time, to change the layout here? Hmmm… I lost the original flash file during that period of time when my hard disk died for the second time within 2 weeks a few months ago. The files committed suicide also. Too bad… I was thinking of removing the chinese words up there…. hmm… see how…

And perhaps I will remove the music also. Or maybe change to some other. And I will want to work on the supposedly extension from ELove: ELove Photos… I will like to integrate everything together under 1 big family… it's been a long long time since I work on ELove functions, and I have forgotten most of what I had tried to do during the holidays. It's quite hard when you have got close to a hundred files running something common, and something different. Hmm.. But basically, the current structure works fine. I shall just keep it, and extend it! Yay…

And enough of this. More of other stuff. Yes. I have quite successfully managed to be on ignore mode for around 24 hours. Good. And it's 1st October! Happy Children's Day!!!

Ok, time to reset my phone counters too. Hmm… 341 SMSes sent for the past month. 259 received. Almost 100 in difference. It's hopeless. I don't like that, but what to do. When people are unhappy, they ignore it. When people are busy, they ignore it. When people don't care, they ignore it. When people think it's crap, they ignore it. And so, the conclusion?

I will just take it as, they don't really like to receive SMSes from me.

Some did care to explain sometimes. But some… Really… Whatever…

People just hope to receive SMSes from people they like to receive them from. I guess, I am not really in that list. And people in my list never send SMSes to me too. So, it must be me. My fault.

Just forget it. *Clear counters*

And now, talk time. Received calls: 03:10:10. Dialled calls: 00:46:47. Note: hours:minutes:seconds. Well… looks like I pick up more calls from people than they pick up mine. But then, the large amount was mainly due to a super blah blah complain person who blah blah blah none stop for 1 hour. And what did I do? Listen…

Oh well. I don't get those types of calls that often, and so, never mind.

Just forget it. *Clears counters*

Next is GPRS usage. All sent data: 6 175 B. All received data: 12 235 B. I am not sure 'B' stands for bytes or bits. But then, it's minimal usage. Last time, in the army, I used to use it quite a lot, mainly to connect to ICQ to talk crapp (Not much people to talk to. Really. Ok, to buaya, if that's the word you prefer), and to play around. That was when ICQ was still hot. Now? MSN… Going around anywhere and log in…

Just forget it. *Clears counters*

Regarding MSN. Sometimes, I spend alot of time just waiting for people to reply to my message. As in, I am sitting right in front of the laptop, answering their questions, if any, and waiting for them to respond to it. But sometimes, I really wonder, while I am presenting the solution, what are you doing? Are you doing some other homework? Are you watching TV? Are you sleeping? Are you away, doing some other thing, and hopefully, when you are back to the screen, the solutions will be there waiting for you? So that you use your time optimally? At the expense of my time? My bandwidth? My brain power?

So am I your slave brain? I want discussions, not me thinking and presenting the answers to you while you spend your time doing some other things. I mean, I don't mind showing you how things work, but then, please, help me too.

As in, sometimes, when I have things to ask people, they are not there, but suddenly, one of them appears online suddenly and in comes a message asking this asking that…

I don't like to be an answering machine. Oh well…

Just forget it. *Clears*

Anyway, the “you” at the top is just a reference term, but if you really think that “you” is you, well… good for you then…

And Friday's gone, just like that. Went home after the lecture. Heard the advertisement over 933 in the afternoon, regarding the SuperStar concert and ticket sales. Since they were announcing it, it looks like ticket sales were not that great or what? Or they had more seats? Hmm.. But anyway, no one's interested. And… and… *puts into memory*

No. Why will I want to remember such things? No. I should not. I should forget. But, happiness is more easily forgotten than other things. People tend to remember better, the bad times rather than the good. Good time passes quickly. Bad time lingers…

If there's a way to clear specific brain memory, isn't that good?

Just forget it. *Clears*

oooOoo damn cold in here… hahaha.. but I am not wearing my jacket. See how long I can hold on… Fingers are ice-cold now. No, it will not break…. lol…

Swam at Bukit Batok just now. Cloudy weather, with occasional raindrops falling on my head. Quite an OK temperature to swim, and quite a number of people too. Swim and swim, and stone…

And as usual, I have saved on lunch, once again… Nah, I don't like to have lunch alone… I don't like to queue… just skip it lor… can survive one…

zzzZ let's hope no ice cubes fall down from the ceiling? wahaha crapp…

…

Went shopping just now with Ben and CJ. Hmm… bought this and that, and that and this. Had ice cream at Mac, and bought this and that there too. Hahaha… totally shiok. Tireless.

Bought a little something for myself too.

Ta-da! My first Tennis racket!

Let’s take a look at the racket:

Nice nice? I think it is! Who cares what you all think. It’s MY racket. And I think the price is OK too. Now for the functionality. Who’s game for a tennis session?

So relaxed I was, that I decided to carry out wiring on the bread board! Here’s the prelimary arrangement:

I hope I will not need to do too much debugging. At the top row, an IC is missing, as I decided to change the chip. I think I shall make a trip to the design lab later to collect one of those, and try out the circuit. Hopefully it works. Time taken to wire everything? From around 7. Till around 11. Hmm… Quite fast? Not really ba…

See… I am still awake. I just want to do whatever I want. Who cares what you all think…

Suddenly feel like playing the keyboard. Let’s see what type of crap I can cook up with mixed feelings of happiness and sadness. Hmm…

And maybe I will have more theories and principles and laws soon. Things are beginning to be clearer. Humans. Just like this.

Waiting for Saturday to come. It’s Children’s Day! Oh well… Children’s Day also means KBox day, and I think, the more, the merrier, but then… Maybe, I should consider re-organising my “NUS Kbox call-up list” a bit… Sometimes, things just don’t work out this way. So? Try the other way. If all fails? Abort it! Abandon it! And Shut up!

Oh shit.. cool down I must. Think I need some cooling tea…

Yes… End Of Day…

So happy. Yeah right

Ok, I shall enjoy my waffle now…. yummy…

And keep quiet…

And stone…

Finally, one test is over! Yes, with minimal studying, as I know that no matter how much I study, the end result will only depend on weather I can see the pattern or not.

Looks that tonight's luck at MPSH 1 was not that great, but slightly better than previously.

Maybe, disappointment drives me better… still to be tested further. Come on, disappoint me more, and maybe this sem, I will be able to get myself into dean's list… wahahah dreamzzz… Yeah, an invertor. A device that turns something negative into positive… What ? dunno-what ???…. lol

But that might shorten my lifespan by a lot. I prefer to love, and to be loved. But sometimes hatred tends to overruns it…

Wonder if it's good or bad, but really, I cannot hold any grudge with anybody for more than 12 hours. I can only manage to ignore someone for a limited period of time. And sometimes I hate myself for that.

No… I just can't do it…

Ok, into deeper thoughts for the day… Lk's Rainbow Theory!

Most people associate rainbows to happiness. From scientific explanations, we know that rainbows are formed by light that is refracted by droplets of water in the air. Everybody will notice the rainbow, because it is so colourful, so cheerful, and so appealing to the eye.

But, it's formed by droplets of water… probably rain…

Someone's crying. For you. For him/herself. For anything. For anyone. While you are smiling away.

The Sun shines, and the Clouds cry, so that you can enjoy the Rainbow…

There's no way we can satisfy everyone's choices. Some people may be happy with a particular decision, while others may be disappointed with it. Happy people will be the sun standing behind you, with their reasons, no matter good or bad, to smile. The unhappy people will be those in front of you, that will be covered by the bright light from the sun, and crying. And what do you, the center person, see?

Everyone sees the rainbow. No one sees the rain, as it is being “covered” by the light. With the sight of the rainbow, no one actually remembers how it is formed in the first place.

Oh well…

Standard human behavior. People tend to overlook other people's feelings in a moment of happiness.

How true? Test it out… Haiz… Now I am thinking another way…

Am I the rain now? Perhaps… ????????

Oh well. Back to the surface. Take a deeeeeep breath… Ok. Done.

Why the bus won't come when I decide to go home in the shortest time possible? I actually walked from SRC all the way down to the bus stop along the AYE, near Ginza Plaza, in order to take a faster route home. In the end, I think I took the same amount of time. Reason? Waiting for buses. I missed them. While walking down, along the curve part of the road towards the bus stop, the buses zoom past. And while walking towards the bus stop after buying newspaper from 7-eleven at JE, 143 zoomed past. Well done. It's always like this. I want to go some place fast, and always, I am being impeded by bus timings. Well done.

Well… just the normal life of someone without a car, without free rides, and without any benefits…

Reached school at 8am this morning. I love Tuesday mornings. So shiok. The whole room was (almost) mine! Hmm…

Oh well, as usual, I don't understand whatever the 2012 tutor was talking about. He talked in monotone, and sometimes to himself, and perhaps imagined that he was a piece of glass, that we could see the projection on the wall through his body…

Think, appraisals, will have a whole lot of stuff to write…

Lectures were as usual. Don't understand. As always. Nothing is understandable. Just could not adapt to the ways things are being taught. Sometimes, it's just not that I cannot learn. It's just the way things are being discussed and explained. But then, yeah I am lousy…

Went to the lab to get 3 more ICs. Hmm… still having some problems. I think I will just leave it as it is, and continue with it after I verify my design with the lab assistant. I don't want to waste my time.

And about wasting my time, that siao siao gateway is giving me problems again! It requires caning!!! KNS!!! Now, I am back to using USB modem again, and I expect myself to see a blue screen later when I shut down the computer. Oh well… must I really get a new router??? It's ex, you know…

And basically I did waste some time in E3-06-14. I was stoning there with Zhonghui. He was doing his fluid stuff, and I was spending some time looking at past year papers of EE2006. After doing some questions, I decided to take a break. Nothing much to play with, the questions… and no one to argue it out also. No fun… All decided to hide until problems arised…

And so, I was so sianz that I decided to go to the PC cluster. Zhonghui decided to give up on his fluids stuff also, and so, we went up there together. This was my first time in the PC cluster. Not bad… Printed some stuff, and it's over 6pm, so the security lock was on. I took out my matric card and was looking for any slots to slot in the card, but found none! Then I realised that, it's a close proximity card reader!! Ahh! High tech siaz!! So sua gu… lol

Played with matlab a bit. The roots function is very fun to play with. Then tried funny stuff, which I did not really understand what I was doing… Then tried that duno-what “SolidWorks” or whatever program. Hmm.. chim. Using that program to draw 3D graphics. Of course, I could not draw any! Duhz…

Around 7pm, we left. We went down to take 198, and walked into Teban… he's going to his gf's house…

Haiz… so sianz… See… while writing this, it's 12am already… Hmm…

Silence…

So sianz…

Well, it seems that, I have been staring at the edit screen for quite some time. I realise that, actually, I don't have much to say now. Nothing much happened tonight. Things have to happen before there's something to say, right?

Just finished watching the vampire show. Hmm.. quite nice what, why last time people say it's not nice? It looks ok to me… And earlier, I watched The Lost World, and after that, a part of that Jackie Chan movie, and then episode 48 of Seed Destiny… Hmmm… watching and watching, and trying to understand the crapps of RP. 

Very confusing to have X and X, and the 2 mean different things! The bold one has the time variable in it! oooOoooo

Oh well, sleeping time…

See? Good weather, and no one's bballing. Some choose to go Sentosa to eat sand. Some pia homework. Some nua. Some MIA. So, play what ball? Wait for the snow to drop down in SG, and play snow ball lor…

Bball sessions are getting less and less regular, and the number of people is also decreasing. So, how long will we last? Not too long. Prove me wrong? Never mind about that.

See, everyone has their priorities. Last time, we had Dennis. I have not seen him for months, ever since he started on his kopi boy business. I haven't find a time to visit him also. One fine day ba. Perhaps Friday will be good…

Last time, we had CJHo. Not too convenient for him to come all the way to JE to play. And nearer to his home, there are more pros than in JE, and so, no CJHo, never mind ba…

Last time, we had Edric. Ever since school started last year, we have not seen him much. Last time, we had Zhisheng. Also, same thing. Last time we had Zhenyao, who was in charge to inform the 2 people mentioned earlier about any bball sessions. He? Do homework…

Last time, we had lots. Now, we have less….

Ok, enough of living in the past. Back to 25 September 2005.

Nice day today. Hot and good for swim. But it's a SUNDAY. High cost, high traffic, ie people swimming as if they own the whole pool. Bad day for swim, and probably will be swimming alone, so, that's out of the question. I will only swim alone on weekdays, when there's less to talk about, so being alone makes no difference. No, I will not talk to myself in the pool, not anywhere else also! Duhz…

Did a little test on my hair a few days back. Hmm.. the brown is not that obvious, but it's there.. haha.. Too free that day, and so, I was playing with some hair dye that I bought last year. Hmm.. still usable, but I think I will not change my colour of my hair. Maybe, not now. Not in a few months time. Maybe not in a few years… Hmm…

Maybe I can decide if I want ???'s hairstyle? Wahahhaa nooooo…

Anyway, Linchuan's drawings' good. Eh, go draw and print T-shirts for sale la… some very cute leh… sure people will buy 1… lol…

I think I shall stop my crappp here. For nbw. Ahhhh I want to ??, I want to ??, I want to ??, I want to…

Whatever…

Sometimes, it's so much faster if one decides to find something, instead of waiting till infinity:

Just the way. This is the way it should be. Lightning, thunder, rain…

If only this will last for the whole of Sunday, so that somehow, I will be on a happier mood…

Maybe, what if, one fine day, I can smile no more, what will my next expression be?

If there's no smile, probably cry? Or dull? Or anger? Or just expression-less?

My smile threshold, I hope it's infinity, but I think in reality, it's not.

Rain does make me think. Lightning reveals things, and thunder allows me to hear better…

Hmm… really?