Belief@HazelCafe

While (looking at Maths tutorial 9 qn 4) {

     fell asleep;     if (too tired) {          break;     }}

Hmm… Don’t know. Maybe it’s just that I don’t really understand what the question is trying to do. Lack of F Maths knowledge…

Alright, early morning update before I go back to Maths! No Labs today! Only… LSM… from 2 to 6!!! If there’s no lectures, I will have stoned at home for the whole day…

Recently, 2 of the blogs listed on my Link List (opps, sounds familiar?) have decided to brush off the dust and cobwebs and update a bit. It’s good to update actually. I am using this to practise typing skills… wahahaha…

And that leaves me something to think about. Addition to Project Belief: Design and make a page checker which checks when a page has updates. It’s like, reading a particular and store it on my side, and shows the date on the Link List. If there’s a new update or page, the stored page on my side is updated and the date will be changed accordingly. Hmm… With that, I will be able to know who’s alive and who’s not without actually visiting the sites!

Hmm… maybe not. I think I will prefer to loop through the Link List to see for myself.

Countdown to end of Exams is up there… Emmanuel has a countdown for the START, so here’s my countdown for the END. I don’t care much when it’s going to START, because that’s when NTU ENDS. I prefer ENDS to STARTS. lol… why? Because I am trying to make ENDS meet… crap..

END of Exams ==> Resuming of bball sessions and back to the problem of getting Poseidon people (yes, all of them) to a Kbox session in the afternoon from 2 to 7pm… We have heard Benjamin, Emmanuel, Fuming, Junrong, Lionel, and Wei Min. It’s about time we hear the rest. The organisation part, I think the Constants will have to take care of it once again… =P

Alright, back to Programming/Maths…

It's about time. I have slacked enough. Well, I am always saying that, and why am I still slacking? Lack of the factor to sit down and study, maybe…

And now… I think the factor's here: Time. If I don't start, I am not going to be well prepared for anything. Yeah, I know bits of this and that, but that's not enough. I need 80% knowledge of what I am doing. At least.

Strangely, during this period, there are a few people talking about changing courses. Strange is that, why? Is it because of dislike for the subjects, or is it because of inability to understand, or, is it just too hectic a timetable, or too busy a life, for them to bear?

I don't know. I can never put myself into their shoes. It's always a fight against Time. When they can't catch up, or they don't understand, instead of fighting on, they doubt their initial choice, thinking that by choosing another thing, they can be freed. I don't think so.

I don't wish to use that 9-letter noun that starts with a 'C' here…

Whatever path that you have chosen, make it your Choice. Running away is not an option. Once you run, you will forever be running, because running away is easier than facing the problem.

Face it. And conquer it. Hahaaha…. easier said than done, one might say.

So why do I bother explaining things to people? For fun? To prove that I am good? No!!!

One can't fight alone. At least, I can't… I might be wrong sometimes when explaining things to others too, and of course, I need clarification from other people too…

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Went to zhixiang's bday party on Sunday afternoon. We went over to his house for a buffet lunch. Basically, it was like a basketball gathering, minus the basketball games. However, we did played bball after that, with zhixiang's bday bball! It was a good ball. We certified it, and we approved it to be used it future bball sessions…

Yeah, it was quite fun playing bball in jeans. Once in a blue moon to get this kind of chances. Who in the right mind will be playing bball in jeans… strange enough, I could score strange goals with that ball… anyhow shoot also can go in… or, is it because of jh's bball physics question… wahahha…

Hmm… maybe I should enable the smilie function in here too. Looks fun… I am still trying to figure out if I can make the code insertion on the tag board. The smilie links, although both open a similar-looking page, are different. One works when you click on a smilie, and the other just gives you an error that will haunt you for the rest of your time reading this. It's just a form of script security, I think. If I cannot get smilies2 to work, it simply means that next time, to put a smilie, one will have to manually include the text representing it in the text field…

Will look into that problem again. KIV.

I think, I will study in school this evening. It all depends on my mood. I want to catch up on Maths. I haven't even look at the questions for the tutorial later! Oh man… lagging on my favourite subjects. Maybe it's just the way it's being taught that make me avoid that subject. Can you imagine, I actually choose to read Physics over Maths… bad…

Found this link from linchuan's blog.. hahaa shit song?

Well, tried to be Beng this afternoon. The effect's not very obvious though. Still looked the same.. Hmm… Never mind.

Afternoon, tried to understand what the EE tutor was talking about. He was always moving out of our course requirement by teaching extra things, which could be useful too. Well, what can I say? I tried my best to stay awake for that 1 hour…

Tried to find something at JP. I went there without any real aim. Walked around, finally bought my USB controller, and, as usual, when mood's down, a Coffee Bean… Why mood's down? Because I feel like it, ok?

Was looping through my list of blogs, and came across some interesting thoughts.

I qoute from xinli's blog:
.. is it that when when someone gets used to something.. he/she will start taking it for granted? like.. u keep seeing this friend day in day out.. will u start taking this person for granted because u know that this person will always be there for u and so u put in less effort in treating he/her? i think this is very sad.. very very sad. totally unfair. if i were the person.. i would wished that i've never know he/she.

How true… how true… I've seen enough cases over the years… to me, to other people… sometimes I think, having a brain-wash will be better… or a sudden loss of memory…

From jh's. About some guy-gal problem:
.. do u guys out there really rank members of e opposite sex? like “if i cant get no1, let me try for no2..” (eeks. reminds me of sorting from programming.)

Basically, I think that guys don't really admit defeat openly. They tend to hide their failures, covering them up with some other 'great ideas', or simply by keeping mum about them. Maybe that's why that ranking list exist? I don't know… Perhaps it serves as a contigency plan or what…

Do I have that kind of ranking list in me? Yes, and no. Yes, a list exists. No, it's not sorted using any sorting functions. It's just that when one appear, it will be on top at that moment, and when the time is over, the next once will pop up and take over the lead..

Meaning? My list is friends list…. ha.. lame…

The rest of the blogs? Some did update now and then. I can see some cobwebs. Some already had a layer of dust, some had already started to rot…

Just printed out a sample exam timetable. Looks nice, except for 19 and 20 November, LSM and Physics beside each other…

I have not use this phrase for a long time, but it's still one of mine. Hope is all around…

Yeah got back my laptop after waiting for 5 minutes at the PC centre on Friday morning. For some reason, that Fujitsu guy was not around… Went off for tea break maybe.. who knows.. Now, I have a nice nice screen…

Friday was shopping day at Sim Lim. Went there to look for some means of protection for the laptop. Not much there, except for the LCD screen protector. Anyway, I bought one at Popular just now. It's just a piece of plastic sticking to the top of the LCD, and I wondered how that's going to last… Maybe, the price of $18 a piece at Sim Lim and this $15 for 3 pieces did have a big difference… But then, I was sure something else is more expensive! That B4-size casing! The price's almost doubled!

There's one thing that I forgot to buy: USB controller!!! That thing I said I wanted to buy in the first place!!! Why? Simply forgetfulness. I only thought about it when I had reached the MRT station.. -.-“

These were some things that I've bought: Norton Antivirus 2005 (time to support some original stuff…), a PCI to USB 2.0 card, and a Linksys wireless-G PCI card. Somehow, the wireless card don't always work in the way I wanted it to work, but I think I will look into it tomorrow. Currently still using that lan cable. Without solving the problem, I cannot shift my gateway to another better location…

Tried playing 星情 on the keyboard. Some parts went out of tune as usual… Hmm…

Ok, too tired to update last night. Currently, still quite tired… and feeling slightly.. 'flu-ish'…

No. I say no. Recover. Get lost you coronaVirus. Go away you Streptococcus. Begone.

Wednesday: Went for programming lab without the motivation to complete it. I just went there, look at the questions, tried a bit, took my time, look around, explain to others, and trying my best to make my code compilable without errors. But I knew that the moment I run the code, it will give me a segmentation fault…

Next was the LSM lecture. It was so interesting! A/P Lee was a story teller, and I suspect (with lots of evidence) that he's a drinker! Haha.. the lecture was mostly about beer and such… how they make the drink, and all those technical stuffs. Yeah, not bad for a change. Ok, we have a lecturer who was mad about food (tempeh and such…), and a lecturer that's mad about beer and wine. That left only 1 who was still quite normal.. so far. Maybe, Drs are generally more normal..

Thursday: Finally I went over to the Co-op PC Centre to get that LCD screen fixed. I brought it there at around 3.40pm, and I received a call 1 hour later, saying that the laptop's ready for collection. Fast! I was at the JE library then…

And during that EG tutorial. The tutor, once again, suggested a makeup tutorial on Saturday, and people started saying yes to that idea. The problem is, those who said yes, I had seldom seen them attending the extra tutorials! Hey what's this. If you really want it, just say yes. Otherwise, keep quiet. It's quite sad for the tutor to see only 5 or 6 turn up for a makeup. What's the point.

Alright. Got to go. And I was supposed to look at Maths this evening. In the end, I slacked all the way after watching SG Idol. Hmm… Maybe it's the weekend mood…

What I have seen so far: people around me, saying that they are hopeless, they are behind their school work, they are stressed, and they cannot take it anymore.

From my Belief:
Everything starts with comparison. It's just unavoidable that people will always compare with others. Some people will always be the cream, and some people will always be in the mud. Some, floating in between. Without comparison, there won't be any sense of hopelessness. There won't be any stress. This is impossible.

From my Belief:
Different people work on different paces. Different people can tolerate different levels of stress. I often do things at my own pace. I may be lagging behind my Maths by 2 chapters. I may be lost in space for Physics. I may be tangled up in Programming. I may be shocked by Electrical Engineering. I may be infected by Microbiology, but nevertheless, I am still around. I may be like a canoe, floating out at sea with a storm brewing at the horizon. I know that wearing a lifejacket and risk travelling towards the direction of the storm will not be very pleasant. So what shall I do? Head back to shore, get the necessary basic information, and attempt to outride the storm with a boat, which is more steady. What kind of boat? One with a lower center of gravity. One with a broader base.

From my Belief:
It's alright to be weak once or twice. No one is perfect. No one can ever row 2 boats with an oar. But bare in mind, believe in your Choice.

From my Belief:
I started out being a Chaotic Blue, to one with a Belief. I want to Fly Free. At my own pace. This is impossible. I can only adapt, or try to. And fast. There's not much a choice. Remember Darwin's Theory? Survival of the fittest, and one of the point this the ability to adapt.

And thus, all of you out there. No matter what, be strong. The road is not lined with silk, but is filled with mud, glass, and granite. We shall support each other. I know that you all can do it. Because I believe…

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Studied in school just now with Benjamin. It's the first time I stayed at the library till 10. And I think that's not going to be the last. It's fun, studying in groups. You can joke, can laugh, and fight it out about answers. Yeah, help each other out…

Yes, that's the Way.

hmm… found out that, actually, I don't really know much about structures, pointers, and whatevers. Or, perhaps some points were not taught during lecture…

Have been looking at the program since last night, and, I am only 80% done with it, and with some help from Emmanuel. Don't know why, maybe I have no logic these few days. Yeah, tell me to come up with a few crappy programs, maybe I can, but not this BOGGLE! No I will not give up. Not yet. The deadline is 2355. I shall fight till the end of Days… opps.. too much fantasy epic story books…

Well, received an email reminding me about my storybook, which will be due for returning in 2 days time. Nice service from ecitizen. It requires a SingPass. It's quite cool, so far. http://www.ecitizen.gov.sg. Go try it out. It's for Singapore only I think.

I was reading the newspaper last night when I came across the horoscope section. That reminded me that I am a Aquarian… so fluid, so easily adaptable. Yeah!

Ok, time to sleep. I think I will have a discussion with 周公. I think he might have an answer for my BOGGLE program….

Well, what did I do today…

Basically, NOTHING.

Woke up at 9.30am! The alarm rang at 8, but I just off it. It's just so rare to be able to sleep till that late. Ate breakfast and started on the operation on my computer. It's currently running alright. No hangs, no restarts since 10.30am. After that, I went to buy lunch with dad. Then reached home again. After that, I just sat in front of the computer, playing the keyboard a bit, watching TV a bit. Just realised that I did open the file called 'board.php', and it had remained open since morning. I decided to close it just now.

Late afternoon, I was stoning around, and Joan came asking about chinese fonts. Great. Something do to! So I went to search for it. Nice fonts. I have always wanted to look for them, but somehow, I always forget. Then did a bit of this, did a bit of that, and finally, I decided to look at that stupid program called boggle.c.

Can I just submit the file and forget about it? It's really complicated! And I don't seem to be able to clear my mind to think properly! Imagine, I started at the code at 8. It's now going to be 12. I did something, and yet, the logic is still wrong. Bad… Today's a no-logic day for me…

I have not started on Maths tutorial 9. I have not do many things, and hey, weekend's over…

I think, I shall go look at the Maths. I can't go to a tutorial without knowing what is happening…

Argh… I need some sports. I need some Kbox. I need a guitar… Maybe… tomorrow my hair will change colour or what due to whatever reasons…

What do I want? Or rather, what do I need? Hmm…
Wants and needs… Ha! Forget it… maybe I go bang my head on the wall and then go to school without remembering anyone… what will that be like…

It's raining! It's been raining quite frequently! And I sort of like it actually… great, wet, cold.. hmm…

My computer has been hanging on me ever since I came home. If this entry got through, I am really lucky…

Reached home about 1 hour ago. Was at Lionel's Bday celebration! Quite a nice place, at .. what's it called? Aloha Loyang? Hmm.. went there before… but it's another section. I think Lionel will find his present familiar… hmm… lol

We were the siao people. We played soccer and volley ball! And got ourselves all wet, from the puddles of water, and from sweat. It's great actually, relaxing ourselves after that EE test…

I never had high hopes for EE tests. This time is no exception. It's one of my favourite topics, but sometimes, I just do not know what I am doing…

Had a night snack just now. A chicken puff and coke light. I don't usually have night snacks, but the nice smell of the hot chicken puff persuaded me to get one while I was paying for the coke light at the JE interchange. If only I had a hot cup of coffee, it will be perfect, but I am just too lazy to make one cup for myself. it's like, I have to get the electrical water heater, or whatever you call that, put in water, on the power, while waiting, take cup, pour in Super 3in1 coffee mix, pour in hot water. Just too lazy…

Really sleepy now… think I should go and sleep…

More bdays.. and the latest news: another bday next sunday! Wow…

Currently trying to get my brain to work on EE. Dying soon. Understood some, yet when attempting to do questions, the uncertainty is there. Bad…

Hmm… what to do? Yeah… My belief: I can do it!

Suddenly was thinking about this: maybe I should start going around introducing myself as Daniel.. wahahaha…

Alright, another idea.. sounds familiar though… they all are…

Never mind. Back to EE!!!