Belief@HazelCafe

Was reading newspaper in the morning. Reading that 'Mind your body' article. Someone asking about prolapsed disc. Wahaha…

And then, yeah as somehow expected, that's the doctor that attended to me that replied to that question. Wahaha…

Whatever.

Ok, updates about yesterday.

Went to school at 11. Had lunch with ben before going to lab to look at some results. Actually, the results sux. But who cares. Got Lionel#2 to be my guinea pig. Not bad, his results, just that the open eyes and close eyes results were way too similar. Lol… these are the people who have the potential to sleep on public transport while standing…

And then, tennis from 3 to 6. Some people who said 'ok' failed to turn up. Some people were not even contactable. But who cares. Their own choices. Still trying to find my serve, but it is getting better. It's just that chris still managed to return my serves… grr…. lol. But really, who cares. Just play. Add variety to shots, improve groundstrokes, try new stunts. Latest addition to the to-improve list: backhand topspin.

Had dinner at YIH, and then home.

That's almost what happened yesterday ba.

Still felt like sleeping… zzz

Ok, almost everything comes in pairs. You do something, there will be certain consequences. There's Newton's 3rd Law of Motion. There's ????. There's lots of other things. But the common thing among them is this: balance.

But as usual, who will care? Wahaha… zzz

When friends go missing, what can you do?

start:
while (missing) {
find them;
if (still missing) {
find other ways to find them;
}
if (found) {
break;
}
}

So when does the process stop? When the CPU gets burnt, or there's a short circuit (ie people pouring water on you, etc), or when hard disk failure (you forget that the friend actually existed), or there's a virus attack (modify the sequence code):

start:
while (missing) {
don't care anymore;
if (still missing) {
who cares;
}
}

That's quite sad hor? Hmm… I think so…

Ok, you say try to understand. To understand, you have to find the person first. Ok, you say from other friends. For what? Ok, you say give up. You know how relationships among friends get sour? It's the lack of proper communications. Lack of contact. Each assuming that their thinking is correct, and refuse to find some situation where the relationship is not so bad.

So far, I don't remember there's any friend that requires me to use the 'virus attacked code'. Hmm… I shall not start on that. It's bad.

What to do, I am everyone's best friend… Lol.

Oh well… I have reached my aim to hit more than 10k for the score.

Yay. 10281.

Wahaha…

Ok, supposed should be doing some work today. But then… I am too nua to do anything!!!

Don't care la. Slack a bit more first. Wahaha…

Zzzzz lor…

Ok, after being damn cold for the past night, now I am feeling damn hot.

Played tennis. 10am till around 3pm. 5 hours in the hot sun. HOT. Played with Jonathan most of the time today. Lol… quite playable. I love basline shots… and backhand slices…

Today we had 1 rare person appearing: marie! Lol. She said one thing that I have to agree. She said something like:

"you are like everyone's best friend…"

How can I not agree? Laugh or cry? Because, even girls say that… this is bad… and also, with the latest case study, I think I am very suitable to be in the hairdressing type of jobs…

Hmm…

And we had another new person, brought in by lionel#2: darryl. Lol.

Ate lunch at 4pm. Zzz… then? Home. Home. Home. No where to hang out. Or rather, no one I want to hang out with.

Lk Code. Not everyone can decode, let alone understand it. Lk Code is of no use when things are no longer of significance. Only interested people will attempt to decode Lk Code, and fail.

Because I simply don't anyhow allow people to do that.

Oh yeah. Last night, I deleted away my blogspot blog.

When you just realised that you are coming back from hell, and someone is trying to push you back, what will you do?

• Go back to hell quietly.
• Pray that the person goes to heaven and leave you alone.
• Pray that the person goes to hell and suffer.
• Kamikaze: let us meet in hell.

Wahaha!! Hmm…. it's a very difficult choice hor? Hmm… I wonder if I am a bad or nice guy sometimes…

As zhenyao's nick wrote, "key to success is failure".

To be able to succeed, you have to fail once in a while.

But what is failure all about? It's about admitting. It's about acknowledging a wrong-doing. It's about contemplating after that.

And after all these years of waiting, I think I can really say that, I have failed. In the past, I have hoped for miracles, and gotten them. Now, miracles are rare.

I have to remember people and things that have really benefitted me. I thank all of them. From the bottom of my heart.

I have to apologise to people who have encouraged me, or to whom I have failed to recognise their importance. I am sorry. Please, give me a chance. Even if you don't, I don't blame you too. It's my fault to begin with.

I have to accept the consequences of my actions. I accept all responsibilities. I accept all blames. I accept all liabilities. I write off all bad debts. I confirm all losses.

I have to let go. Sometimes, I just have to realise that certain things are just beyond my reach. No matter how tall, how short, how smart, how stupid, how rich, how poor, how lovable, how hateful I am. For the last time, if things don't work out the way I want them to be, look from another perspective, and you can find a better world, a better place.

Yes, accept the failure. Avoidance is not the way to be successful. Hating yourself is not too, and of course, hating other people is a no.

With the above idea, a new me will be seen. A new belief. A new beginning. A new hope.

Tennis later. Time to sleep. Lol. The above are all general thoughts. Please don't start thinking I am not ok. I am just… a bit not ok, but most of the time, I will be ok (besides that back pain and such).

Have a happy weekend! If I have time, I should really 'beautify' this place up a bit…

Went for a 9am tutorial which was quite duhz.

Went for a 10am to 12pm lecture which was getting more and more interesting.

Went for a 12pm lunch at Olive Cove which was the usual.

Went for a 1pm to 3pm tennis which was last minute.

Went for a 3.30pm computer using at CBLC which was relaxing.

Went for a tennis court booking while at CBLC which was easy.

Went for a sms sending where replies were often not expected.

Went for a tea break at YIH which was the norm.

Went for a walk at IMM which was a requirement.

Went for a purchase which was a gift.

Went for a collection which was delayed.

Went for a trip home which was routine.

Lalala… morning boliao post.

Nothing much I need to do actually.

Tennis was cancelled due to people not free. Maybe playing on Saturday instead ba.

And so, what to do later? Collect my repaired shoes… and then?

Hmm… Swim? Hmm… Stone?