[8.00pm]
\nHmm… I believe I can smile…<\/p>\n
I can. I really can. But… I feel happy, and I feel sad, and I feel angry. It’s a 3-in-1 coffee mix. Yes, and everyone knows that coffee is able to stain. And, the stains are hard to remove.<\/p>\n
But who will care? As long as one does not get the stain, who cares? Who will actually come and get you out of some shit? No one. Help yourself.<\/p>\n
[8.20pm]
\nWent to swim this morning with Yingzi and Jianliang. Light sun, just right. But that nua tang is complaining that there’s no sun. We stoned there for 2 hours, splashing water, talking crap, and whatever.<\/p>\n
And after that, we went over to West Mall for lunch, and Yingzi went home, and me and him went over to Suntec. For what? To look for Carebear and Isis. Found the first one, as Suntec had organised some carebear show, and everywhere’s selling carebears. And I thought, oh great, we found carebear. And he said he did not want to get this type of carebear. Well done. Luckily I bought a bottle of Ginseng Chrysanthemum from Carrefour, and it’s cold. Otherwise I would make sure that the chicken I had bought end up in his throat.<\/p>\n
But then, it seems that, I would not have done that. I had my own problem to deal with.<\/p>\n
I decided it’s time to get out of Suntec.<\/p>\n
And then, we end up at Raffles City. Saw the same bear. No others. After that, I gave him a choice between Bugis and Queensway, and he chose the latter. And off we went, on 197.<\/p>\n
Fruitless trip to Queensway Shopping Centre. I wanted to go Ikea, and we went. Finally ate Swedish meatballs, after donkey years. Quite yummy. And after that, it’s shopping rage for me. Shop siao. Bought quite a lot of things. So much that, I end up going home with 2 big Ikea bags.<\/p>\n
But I am still not too happy with the number of things that I have bought. It is still… whatever. I don’t know how to describe.<\/p>\n
Had a hotdog and drink, and we went back to JE. 1 complete day out.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, I really think, should I have done things that I have done? Be it sending sms, email, calling, even talking? So what will actually happen if I have not done all these? And why? And how?<\/p>\n
Questions…<\/p>\n
I only have one wish for christmas this year. Can I just settle this problem once and for all? Be it a success or a failure? Be it happy or sad?<\/p>\n
Some things just have to be concluded. We just cannot be running away from them. When there’s a beginning, there’s always an end. There’s no hanging in between. And I think, I have been hung in between for too long. Years. The string is going to break… I don’t want to fall into ???. I want to go either side of the ends.<\/p>\n
While on my way back, I was listening to this song.<\/p>\n
\u00e5\u0090\u017d\u00e6\u009d\u00a5<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00e6\u00ad\u0152\u00e6\u2030\u2039\u00ef\u00bc\u0161\u00e5\u02c6\u02dc\u00e8\u2039\u00a5\u00e8\u2039\u00b1<\/p>\n \u00e5\u0090\u017d\u00e6\u009d\u00a5 \u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e6\u20ac\u00bb\u00e7\u00ae\u2014\u00e5\u00ad\u00a6\u00e4\u00bc\u0161\u00e4\u00ba\u2020\u00e5\u00a6\u201a\u00e4\u00bd\u2022\u00e5\u017d\u00bb\u00e7\u02c6\u00b1 \u00e6\u00a0\u20ac\u00e5\u00ad\u0090\u00e8\u0160\u00b1\u00e7\u2122\u00bd\u00e8\u0160\u00b1\u00e7\u201c\u00a3 \u00e8\u0090\u00bd\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e8\u201c\u009d\u00e8\u2030\u00b2\u00e7\u2122\u00be\u00e8\u00a4\u00b6\u00e8\u00a3\u2122\u00e4\u00b8\u0160 \u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e9\u0192\u00bd\u00e5\u00a6\u201a\u00e4\u00bd\u2022\u00e5\u203a\u017e\u00e5\u00bf\u2020\u00e6\u02c6\u2018 \u00e5\u00b8\u00a6\u00e7\u009d\u20ac\u00e7\u00ac\u2018\u00e6\u02c6\u2013\u00e6\u02dc\u00af\u00e5\u00be\u02c6\u00e6\u00b2\u2030\u00e9\u00bb\u02dc \u00e5\u0090\u017d\u00e6\u009d\u00a5 \u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e6\u20ac\u00bb\u00e7\u00ae\u2014\u00e5\u00ad\u00a6\u00e4\u00bc\u0161\u00e4\u00ba\u2020\u00e5\u00a6\u201a\u00e4\u00bd\u2022\u00e5\u017d\u00bb\u00e7\u02c6\u00b1 \u00e6\u00b0\u00b8\u00e8\u00bf\u0153\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e4\u00bc\u0161\u00e5\u2020\u008d\u00e9\u2021\u008d\u00e6\u009d\u00a5 \u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e4\u00b8\u20ac\u00e4\u00b8\u00aa\u00e7\u201d\u00b7\u00e5\u00ad\u00a9 \u00e7\u02c6\u00b1\u00e7\u009d\u20ac\u00e9\u201a\u00a3\u00e4\u00b8\u00aa\u00e5\u00a5\u00b3\u00e5\u00ad\u00a9<\/p>\n I also like the japanese version by Kiroro. Nice…<\/p>\n Mirai e Hora ashimoto wo mite goran Haha ga kureta takusan no yasashisa Yume wa itsumo sora takaku aru kara Sono yasashisa wo toki ni wa iyagari Hora ashimoto wo mite goran Sono yasashisa wo toki ni wa iyagari Hora ashimoto wo mite goran Hora ashimoto wo mite goran [Translation] Mother gave me so much kindness Since dream is always high up in the sky That kind of kindness, sometimes I dislike Look, watch your step That kind of kindness, sometimes I dislike Look, watch your step Look, watch your step [10.30pm] Did I see Vera just now? Hmm.. looked like her, but it’s too dark… and I was trying hard to think of running only, and nothing else.<\/p>\n After the short run, I sat down and look at the sky. A cloudy and slightly windy night. The moon’s partially covered by some clouds, and only one lone star managed to shine through. One star, shining through the clouds. Did that mean anything I wonder? I closed my eyes and think, maybe it meant something. It depends on how I want to see it. It may mean loneliness, and it may mean strength. Which one? Both?<\/p>\n Hmm… I don’t know. Tomorrow’s Wednesday. 14. Just 10 more days. And I wonder if I should continue? Should I endure? Should I give up? Should I just don’t care?<\/p>\n Continue? Continue with what? Endure? Endure what? Give up? Give up what? Don’t care? Same?<\/p>\n [11.00pm] I have somehow decided.<\/p>\n What will be, will be… vice versa. I hold no beliefs on this.<\/p>\n \u00e7\u00b3\u2013\u00e7\u00bd\u0090\u00e5\u00ad\u0090<\/strong> \u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e5\u00bf\u00ab\u00e4\u00b9\u0090\u00e5\u00b0\u00b1\u00e5\u00a5\u00bd \u00e4\u00b8\u00ba\u00e4\u00bb\u20ac\u00e4\u00b9\u02c6\u00e8\u00a6\u0081\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e6\u201e\u0178\u00e8\u00a7\u2030\u00e5\u02c6\u00b0 \u00e5\u201a\u00bb\u00e4\u00b8\u20ac\u00e7\u201a\u00b9\u00e4\u00b9\u0178\u00e5\u00a5\u00bd \u00e5\u2026\u00b6\u00e4\u00bb\u2013\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e6\u0192\u00b3\u00e7\u0178\u00a5\u00e9\u0081\u201c \u00e5\u00a5\u00bd \u00e4\u00b8\u017d\u00e5\u009d\u008f \u00e5\u2026\u00b6\u00e5\u00ae\u017e\u00e9\u0192\u00bd\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e9\u2021\u008d\u00e8\u00a6\u0081 \u00e7\u00b3\u2013\u00e7\u00bd\u0090\u00e5\u00ad\u0090\u00e8\u00a3\u2026\u00e7\u009d\u20ac \u00e5\u203a\u017e\u00e5\u00bf\u2020\u00e9\u2021\u0152\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e4\u00bb\u00ac Hmm.. ELove Server always like to be in the same mood as me…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" [8.00pm] Hmm… I believe I can smile… I can. I really can. But… I feel happy, and I feel sad, and I feel angry. It’s a 3-in-1 coffee mix. Yes, and everyone knows that coffee is able to stain. And, … Continue reading
\n\u00e5\u008f\u00af\u00e6\u0192\u0153\u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e6\u2014\u00a9\u00e5\u00b7\u00b2\u00e8\u00bf\u0153\u00e4\u00ba\u2018 \u00e6\u00b6\u02c6\u00e5\u00a4\u00b1\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e4\u00ba\u00ba\u00e6\u00b5\u00b7
\n\u00e5\u0090\u017d\u00e6\u009d\u00a5 \u00e7\u00bb\u02c6\u00e4\u00ba\u017d\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e7\u0153\u00bc\u00e6\u00b3\u00aa\u00e4\u00b8\u00ad\u00e6\u02dc\u017d\u00e7\u2122\u00bd
\n\u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e4\u00ba\u203a\u00e4\u00ba\u00ba \u00e4\u00b8\u20ac\u00e6\u2014\u00a6\u00e9\u201d\u2122\u00e8\u00bf\u2021\u00e5\u00b0\u00b1\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e5\u2020\u008d<\/p>\n
\n\u00e7\u02c6\u00b1\u00e4\u00bd\u00a0 \u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e8\u00bd\u00bb\u00e5\u00a3\u00b0\u00e8\u00af\u00b4 \u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e4\u00bd\u017d\u00e4\u00b8\u2039\u00e5\u00a4\u00b4\u00e9\u2014\u00bb\u00e8\u00a7\u0081\u00e4\u00b8\u20ac\u00e9\u02dc\u00b5\u00e8\u0160\u00ac\u00e8\u0160\u00b3
\n\u00e9\u201a\u00a3\u00e4\u00b8\u00aa\u00e6\u00b0\u00b8\u00e6\u0081\u2019\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e5\u00a4\u0153\u00e6\u2122\u0161 \u00e5\u008d\u0081\u00e4\u00b8\u0192\u00e5\u00b2\u0081\u00e4\u00bb\u00b2\u00e5\u00a4\u008f \u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e5\u0090\u00bb\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e9\u201a\u00a3\u00e4\u00b8\u00aa\u00e5\u00a4\u0153\u00e6\u2122\u0161
\n\u00e8\u00ae\u00a9\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e5\u00be\u20ac\u00e5\u0090\u017d\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e6\u2014\u00b6\u00e5\u2026\u2030 \u00e6\u00af\u008f\u00e5\u00bd\u201c\u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e6\u201e\u0178\u00e5\u008f\u00b9 \u00e6\u20ac\u00bb\u00e6\u0192\u00b3\u00e8\u00b5\u00b7\u00e5\u00bd\u201c\u00e5\u00a4\u00a9\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e6\u02dc\u0178\u00e5\u2026\u2030
\n\u00e9\u201a\u00a3\u00e6\u2014\u00b6\u00e5\u20ac\u2122\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e7\u02c6\u00b1\u00e6\u0192\u2026 \u00e4\u00b8\u00ba\u00e4\u00bb\u20ac\u00e4\u00b9\u02c6\u00e5\u00b0\u00b1\u00e8\u0192\u00bd\u00e9\u201a\u00a3\u00e6\u00a0\u00b7\u00e7\u00ae\u20ac\u00e5\u008d\u2022
\n\u00e8\u20ac\u0152\u00e5\u008f\u02c6\u00e6\u02dc\u00af\u00e4\u00b8\u00ba\u00e4\u00bb\u20ac\u00e4\u00b9\u02c6 \u00e4\u00ba\u00ba\u00e5\u00b9\u00b4\u00e5\u00b0\u2018\u00e6\u2014\u00b6 \u00e4\u00b8\u20ac\u00e5\u00ae\u0161\u00e8\u00a6\u0081\u00e8\u00ae\u00a9\u00e6\u00b7\u00b1\u00e7\u02c6\u00b1\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e4\u00ba\u00ba\u00e5\u008f\u2014\u00e4\u00bc\u00a4
\n\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e8\u00bf\u2122\u00e7\u203a\u00b8\u00e4\u00bc\u00bc\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e6\u00b7\u00b1\u00e5\u00a4\u0153\u00e9\u2021\u0152 \u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e6\u02dc\u00af\u00e5\u0090\u00a6\u00e4\u00b8\u20ac\u00e6\u00a0\u00b7 \u00e4\u00b9\u0178\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e9\u009d\u2122\u00e9\u009d\u2122\u00e8\u00bf\u00bd\u00e6\u201a\u201d\u00e6\u201e\u0178\u00e4\u00bc\u00a4
\n\u00e5\u00a6\u201a\u00e6\u017e\u0153\u00e5\u00bd\u201c\u00e6\u2014\u00b6\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e4\u00bb\u00ac\u00e8\u0192\u00bd \u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e9\u201a\u00a3\u00e4\u00b9\u02c6\u00e5\u20ac\u201d\u00e5\u00bc\u00ba \u00e7\u017d\u00b0\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e4\u00b9\u0178\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e9\u201a\u00a3\u00e4\u00b9\u02c6\u00e9\u0081\u2014\u00e6\u2020\u00be<\/p>\n
\n\u00e8\u00bf\u2122\u00e4\u00ba\u203a\u00e5\u00b9\u00b4\u00e6\u009d\u00a5 \u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e6\u00b2\u00a1\u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e4\u00ba\u00ba\u00e8\u0192\u00bd\u00e8\u00ae\u00a9\u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e5\u00af\u201a\u00e5\u00af\u017e<\/p>\n
\n\u00e5\u008f\u00af\u00e6\u0192\u0153\u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e6\u2014\u00a9\u00e5\u00b7\u00b2\u00e8\u00bf\u0153\u00e4\u00ba\u2018 \u00e6\u00b6\u02c6\u00e5\u00a4\u00b1\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e4\u00ba\u00ba\u00e6\u00b5\u00b7
\n\u00e5\u0090\u017d\u00e6\u009d\u00a5 \u00e7\u00bb\u02c6\u00e4\u00ba\u017d\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e7\u0153\u00bc\u00e6\u00b3\u00aa\u00e4\u00b8\u00ad\u00e6\u02dc\u017d\u00e7\u2122\u00bd
\n\u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e4\u00ba\u203a\u00e4\u00ba\u00ba \u00e4\u00b8\u20ac\u00e6\u2014\u00a6\u00e9\u201d\u2122\u00e8\u00bf\u2021\u00e5\u00b0\u00b1\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e5\u2020\u008d<\/p>\n
\n
\n
\nSing: Kiroro<\/p>\n
\nKore ga anata no ayumu michi
\nHora mae wo mite goran
\nAre ga anata no mirai<\/p>\n
\nAi wo idaite ayumeto kurikaeshita
\nAno toki wa mada osanakute imi nado shiranai
\nSonna watashi no te wo nigiri
\nIsshoni ayundekita<\/p>\n
\nTodokanakute kowai ne dakedo oitsuzukeru no
\nJibun no story dakara koso akirametakunai
\nFuan ni naruto te wo nigiri
\nIsshoni ayundekita<\/p>\n
\nHanareta haha e sunao ni narezu<\/p>\n
\nKore ga anata no ayumu michi
\nHora mae wo mite goran
\nAre ga anata no mirai<\/p>\n
\nHanareta haha e sunao ni narezu<\/p>\n
\nKore ga anata no ayumu michi
\nHora mae wo mite goran
\nAre ga anata no mirai<\/p>\n
\nKore ga anata no ayumu michi
\nHora mae wo mite goran
\nAre ga anata no mirai
\nMirai e mukatte
\nYukkuri to aruite yukou<\/p>\n
\nLook, watch your step
\nThis is your path
\nLook, watch in front of you
\nThat is your future<\/p>\n
\nHolding on to love, I refrained as I walked
\nAt that time I was still young and didn’t know the meaning
\nShe grabbed the innocent me tightly
\nand walked together<\/p>\n
\nI am afraid of not reaching it, however I continue to pursue it
\nHer own story, because of it, I don’t want to give up
\nWhen I felt anxious, she grabbed me tightly
\nand walked together<\/p>\n
\nI cannot be docile to my separated mother<\/p>\n
\nThis is your path
\nLook, watch in front of you
\nThat is your future<\/p>\n
\nI cannot be docile to my separated mother<\/p>\n
\nThis is your path
\nLook, watch in front of you
\nThat is your future<\/p>\n
\nThis is your path
\nLook, watch in front of you
\nThat is your future
\nFacing the future
\nWalk slowly toward it<\/p>\n
\n
\nLooks like I took the longest to write this entry. I just came back from a short run. A really short one, but one that makes me sweat like hell. Even now, in front of the computer. It felt ok. I don’t want to exert too much. Just a relaxed one, or is it?<\/p>\n
\n
\nI just came back to my room, after my bath. It felt shiok. The cold water, trickling down my head, my body, my hands, my legs. I wish I am awake, but I am only half-awake. The other half still lives in the past, and I will call it back in a few minutes’ time.<\/p>\n
\n
\n\u00e5\u201d\u00b1\u00ef\u00bc\u0161\u00e7\u017d\u2039\u00e5\u00bf\u0192\u00e5\u2021\u0152
\n\u00e4\u00b8\u201c\u00e8\u00be\u2018\u00ef\u00bc\u0161\u00e7\u02c6\u00b1\u00e4\u00bd\u00a0 \u00e7\u00ac\u00ac5\u00e9\u00a6\u2013<\/p>\n
\n\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e7\u00aa\u0081\u00e7\u201e\u00b6\u00e9\u2014\u00bb\u00e5\u02c6\u00b0\u00e4\u00b8\u009d\u00e4\u00b8\u009d\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e7\u201a\u00ab\u00e8\u20ac\u20ac
\n\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e5\u00a7\u2039\u00e7\u00bb\u02c6\u00e6\u00b2\u00a1\u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e5\u2039\u2021\u00e6\u00b0\u201d\u00e9\u009d\u00a2\u00e5\u00af\u00b9\u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e7\u00ac\u2018
\n\u00e5\u00bd\u201c\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e6\u0192\u00b3\u00e9\u20ac\u0192 \u00e5\u008d\u00b4\u00e9\u20ac\u0192\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e4\u00ba\u2020<\/p>\n
\n\u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e7\u2022\u2122\u00e7\u00bb\u2122\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e7\u00b3\u2013\u00e5\u00b7\u00b2\u00e5\u00a4\u00aa\u00e7\u00be\u017d\u00e5\u00a5\u00bd
\n\u00e6\u0153\u2030chocolate\u00e8\u201c\u009d\u00e8\u017d\u201c \u00e8\u00bf\u02dc\u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e6\u0178\u00a0\u00e6\u00aa\u00ac\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e5\u2018\u00b3\u00e9\u0081\u201c
\n\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e5\u00ae\u0081\u00e5\u008f\u00af\u00e5\u0153\u00a8\u00e7\u00b3\u2013\u00e7\u00bd\u0090\u00e9\u2021\u0152\u00e7\u00bb\u2022 \u00e6\u2030\u008d\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e4\u00bc\u0161\u00e6\u0192\u00b3\u00e4\u00bd\u00a0\u00e6\u0192\u00b3\u00e5\u02c6\u00b0\u00e6\u00b2\u00a1\u00e5\u00bf\u0192\u00e8\u00b7\u00b3<\/p>\n
\n\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e6\u2014\u00a9\u00e5\u00b7\u00b2\u00e5\u00a4\u00b1\u00e5\u017d\u00bb\u00e9\u20ac\u0192\u00e7\u00a6\u00bb\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e5\u0160\u203a\u00e9\u2021\u008f<\/p>\n
\n\u00e7\u201d\u0153\u00e7\u201d\u0153\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e6\u00a2\u00a6 \u00e8\u00bd\u00af\u00e8\u00bd\u00af\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e5\u0090\u00bb \u00e9\u2026\u00b8\u00e9\u2026\u00b8\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e5\u00bf\u00ab\u00e4\u00b9\u0090
\n\u00e7\u00b3\u2013\u00e7\u00bd\u0090\u00e5\u00ad\u0090\u00e5\u00bc\u20ac\u00e4\u00ba\u2020 \u00e6\u2030\u20ac\u00e6\u0153\u2030\u00e7\u0161\u201e\u00e6\u00bb\u2039\u00e5\u2018\u00b3\u00e6\u02c6\u2018\u00e9\u0192\u00bd\u00e8\u02c6\u008d\u00e4\u00b8\u008d\u00e5\u00be\u2014
\n\u00e7\u201d\u0153\u00e8\u0153\u0153\u00e9\u0192\u00bd\u00e8\u00a2\u00ab\u00e7\u0153\u00bc\u00e6\u00b3\u00aa\u00e6\u2026\u00a2\u00e6\u2026\u00a2\u00e7\u0161\u201e \u00e8\u017e\u008d\u00e5\u0152\u2013\u00e4\u00ba\u2020<\/p>\n
\n