Belief@HazelCafe

Ok, a few days' events:

Wednesday: went to swim on my own. Too sianz to study whole day. After that, home. Boring. Because I had nothing much to settle too.

Thursday: went to swim again. Broke record – swam at most 4 laps. Went to IMM to buy some stuff, and then home again. Boring.

Friday: went back to school to collect my GEK homework. Oliver was so nice to have sorted out our homework and clip them together. Wow. Going the extra mile… hee… Collected homework, and then went over to NTUC at JE to buy some stuff. Bought Nutrisoy, the one with brown rice. Tasted a bit like the dessert. Quite nice. After that, home. Boring. Went out again just now to play pool. And after that, home again. Boring.

That's all. Boring. But what to do, it's exam period…

Boring boring boring. 12 more days to The End. And after that, it will still be boring. How I hope some money will drop from the sky so that I can go on a visit to some foreign country… Looks like I will end up in JB ba… Or should I land myself in a job and work and work till drop…

See how. This holidays, I predict that, I will be very happy. Because nothing much is going to happen to me. Nothing.

????.

It's crap.

I was reading ST, and there was an article which talked about students of SAJC protesting about their project work grades, which were surprisingly not that good.

Ok, grades were no good, that's understandable, but one student went to comment that his/her 'O' level grades were better, but his/her friend from another JC scored an A for project work, and he/she did not.

What's this? Scoring better for 'O' levels == always scoring better? OMG…

This is not the worst news. Today's ST. Home section page 1. This guy went to commit suicide by jumping off a building somewhere in Bedok, just because he thought he has a puberty problem, and his little thing was too small??! OMG!

Yeah it's crap. He must have got the information from somewhere, perhaps seen too much videos or what. Or were they comparing or what, during toilet breaks?

Even with a doctor's assurance, he also could not accept? Just because he thought it's smaller than others. And he jumped. Just like that.

Well done… very well done… duhz… Maybe he thought too much ba…

Whatever..

Somehow, this reminds me of Chiwai… His nickname's "Tan Tua Kee" in camp. Do I need to elaborate?

Some people just choose to hang on. Some people just choose to wait. Some people just choose to hide.

Why can't they let go?

Maybe, it's hard to let go. Maybe, it is rooted to the ground. Maybe, it's just pure refusal to accept the facts.

I do not know. I have not really experienced such.

No one give me a chance to.

Or have I?

To a certain extend, maybe yes. And maybe no too.

Never mind. Elaboration will be done after the papers.

Sometimes, looking at what one wrote in the past will have some effects. Like a jigsaw puzzle, falling neatly into their respective places.

It's getting clearer. Yeah.

Sometimes, it's so scary that, upon reading it, I find myself thinking why did I miss it last time. Sometimes, it's so scary that, I decided to close it.

Well, all are experiences that were recorded. All are references to events. All are helpful, one way or another.

Some are signs. Signs that have been missed. Signs that have been overlooked. Signs that have hiddens chances that I failed to identify.

I have no one to blame but myself. Oh well. Tooooooo baaaadddd….

omg omg omg… not in any mood to really concentrate on studying…

omg omg omg. No. This will not last long…

Ok, went for dental this morning. As usual, went in 10.30am, came out 10.40am. Fast… 1 minute is $10. Wahsey… specialists are like that… wahahaa…

After that, went to take bus. I let 2 97 buses zoom past. I took the third one, because I decided to play the bus game. So I took it to Clementi stadium area, and wait for the next bus. 198 was behind, and I ended up in JP. Jalan jalan a bit, and realised that, really, I did not have much in mind to buy. I knew that, if I start, it would be non-stop. I decided to ? instead, and wait for 4th May…

Took MRT to JE and back home on 143.

Went out again in the evening, supposedly to West Mall, but ended up at IMM. Yummy cakes. Secret Recipe. Wahaha…

Went home, and stoned till now. omg… wahaha…

1 day gone, but then, I think it's still ok. Not bad.

And now, back to notes…

Should I swim tomorrow? See how ba…

One of the strange events during exam period. This time, it's AJAX. Oh well.

I have completed updating my code. Now, the song will continue to play when one clicks on my history listing, some past entries, and the previous and next entry links. And also, the page will not reload itself. It will be there, while the new information is being retrieved. Yes. In the background.

Uninterrupted song play. ooOooo…

I hope there's nothing wrong in any part of my code. So far, it looks alright, but try not to use the back button, as you will most probably end up at the previous website that you have visited. Don't support AJAX at the moment? Never mind. Links are still workable. I have made it to be backward-compatible.

Happy playing around…

Alright. Another new thing to discover and realise. AJAX: Asynchronous JavaScript And XML

It's going to be fun I guess. What I will do if I can realise this technology, is to allow the browsing of my blog entries without retrieving the whole new entire page! As in, you click a link to my previous blog, and instead of a blank screen that is awaiting download, only the blog content area will be updated!

Sounded like an iframe, but then, it's not an iframe, I hope.

Introduced by mr law when I asked him about clients-side receiving information from the server without requesting for it. Oooo looks fun. Thanks ar…

Here's a very brief summary on this technology: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AJAX.

Hopefully, that will save some downloading time and bandwidth as the whole page will not be refreshed. Cut back on bandwidth usage.

Yeah, and then I will be able to implement it for the tag board too… wahsey… dream leh…

I see alot of potential for this. Last time, when DHTML started, I was doing everything in DHTML. Menus popped up from everywhere, things floating from left to right, etc. Now, Things updating on-the-fly look promising.

Another new dream… Yeah throw that old dream away. Concentrate on the new one. The old dream has benefited my enemies. I wish them well. All the best.

But my new theory still holds. No change.

It's TV night tonight.

Watched <<??>> just now. Hmm… And again, my newly adopted theory was being shown. Anyway, I got my new theory from the show, so it's nothing new actually.

And having watched that show for the third time, one might think that there's nothing new for me to see already, but really, there's new things.

Maybe what I have done in the past might seem bad, but somehow, it had helped some other people to achieve their aim. The path I have chosen might have caused hurt to me, but it might be essential and helpful to others.

Well well… whatever..

So sianz…

Ahhh!!!

The rain just now was… wow… really heavy!!! Lol… So shiok. How I wished I was outside just now. Not standing in the rain, but taking a long bus ride to nowhere. Then I would be looking at the scene outside as the raindrops continued their off-beat drumming on the window panes, sleeping all the way, or freezing in the cold aircon. Hahaha…

And now the rain has stopped. Aw…

Saturday today. If I count down, I still have 19 more days to total freedom.

And these coming holidays, since I do not have any internship to do (quite against it, unless suddenly one good offer drop from the sky), I shall find my own fortune. Anyone wants to employ me? Wahahaa…

Last year, I had that quite-ok conference temp job. This time, any more? Lol…

Ok. Back to siao siao EE2011. I have until Sunday to keep this module under full coverage. A bit of Monday perhaps. And then, it's EE2005 and EE2007 (finally), and then GEK1536, and maybe a bit of LSM1301 before I go back to EE2004.

Exam Schedule is here too:

10 days to settle everything this time. Slightly more than last time. 10 days. 6 modules. Yeah. Finish on 4th, which is just nice: the money should be in my account by then. Then I will be able to shop till I drop after the biology paper.

Ok, that's something to look forward to.

Morning sian-ness.

Rest a while.

I thought I will be able to complete this semester with a different mood. I was wrong. I thought I will be able to do extremely well for this semester. I was wrong. I thought I will be able to accept. I was wrong.

I was wrong about many things. Too many to be listed. It takes too much time. If it was possible, I would like to go all the way back to secondary school. Lower secondary, and stay there for a while.

Looks like my mood and feelings for this semester is still the same as any other semesters. No change. And it looks like some things, I will never understand.

Frames shall remain empty. Stars shall remain capped. Seeds shall remain buried. People change. Me too.

For people who do not know much, please, update yourselves. Focus has changed, or rather, reduced. It's better to pull back a little.

But I have not wake up completely.

Last time, I used to go through exams thinking of happy things that may happen in the future, after the exams. This time, what can I think of? My mind has been robbed of a dream. Suddenly, it's empty.

I don't even have the mood to write new stuff already. Lyrics, musics. No.

It's scary. It's hard to concentrate and remain happy when there's no aim in mind. No goals. No objectives. It's like studying for an empty cause.

But nevertheless, I shall survive. Even without my dream, I shall stand firm.

* close eyes *

Let me be.